Woman on the street: In the past 24 hours someone a shoved a dead bird in the grill of my truck!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Woman on the street: In the past 24 hours someone a shoved a dead bird in the grill of my truck!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Woman to friend: He didn't know what to do with his chicken, so he stuffed it in his pants.
Stanley Park
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: shiz
Drunk JAP, yelling at boyfriend: I can't deal with your shit anymore! You don't respect me, you ridicule me in front of my friends. You tell me my dog doesn't deserve to live in a house as big as mine! I don't want to live like this!
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Jill and Weenie
Girl: Today at the Garden Centre, Bret did this amazing dance to cheer up a dog.
Wellington
New Zealand
Girl to guy wearing alien-hand gloves: What the hell are those?
Guy: They're my testicles… No! My… My… Test–test… The things that octopuses have!
Girl: Tentacles?
Guy: Yes! Tentacles…
High School
Utah
Overheard by: Weskimo
Coworker #1: So, did you ever figure out what was biting you?
Coworker #2: Yeah, the clinic said it was bedbugs. And I'm like, “Bedbugs?!” It's not like I have dead bodies layin' around, or anything.
Casino
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: so, where are they?
Teen #1 coming out of arrival gate to friend: So, when do we start coughing, sneezing and squealing to freak people out?
Teen #2: Dude, people with the swine flu don't squeal!
Teen #1: Then why the hell do they call it that?
Teen #2, jokingly: Because you have to fuck a pig to get it?
Teen #1, seriously: Well, that makes sense!
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Little girl: So when do we get to see the unicorns?
Dad: There don't have any. Unicorns aren't real.
Little girl: Even African unicorns?
Dad: No, they don't exist either. And even if there were real unicorns, they'd probably be from Europe.
Zoo
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
Guy, walking angrily: She thinks that vampires evolved, so now they can be out in the sun like normal people. She also thinks it's degrading to have sex in any position other than missionary, when she's sober.
University of Delaware
Overheard by: what???
