Blue collar

Vendor: Buy some water! I’ll teach you how to dance!

Pitchfork Music Festival
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Seraphina

Telemarketer: Hi, is Mr. Sa– Sama– Samata–
Guy: Go ahead. You can do it.
Telemarketer: Sama– Samthan– Sermana–
Guy: You mean Mr. [says name]?
Telemarketer: Yes, is Mr. [repeats name] available?
Guy: Nope, sorry [hangs up phone].

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: amused girlfriend

Waiter: … Chicken nachos all on her butt cheeks!

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Nic

Cop: Have you ever seen a burn victim autopsy?
Security guard chick: No.
Cop: Well, they cut into the guy, and it smelled like cooked meat. It actually made me hungry.

Richmond, Texas

Overheard by: Occam’s Lady Schick

Blue collar guy on lunch break: Does she use a strap-on or does she have something that pops out like a turtle head?

Northwestern Law School
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: What a Horrible Visual

Dunkin’ Donuts chick: All guys are jerks.
Customer: Aw, come on — I’m a nice guy.
Dunkin’ Donuts chick: Well, I haven’t tried you yet.

Newark, New Jersey

Ticket collector: The bus is now here. Anyone going to Camden, Malden, or Newark, please step forward.
Custodian: Come on, step forward. You don’t gotta be embarrassed if you’re going to Newark.

Greyhound Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Clerk: Hitler was a black man. Did you know that?

Long’s Drugs
Oakland, California

Dining hall employee: We started doing tofu because a lot of people don’t eat meat anymore.
Chick: I love meat.

Russell Sage College
Troy, New York