Old lady: Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just stay as we were and then wake up one day and be dead?
Assisted living center
Iowa
Old lady: Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just stay as we were and then wake up one day and be dead?
Assisted living center
Iowa
40-something driver to friend: So I saw some interesting roadkill the other day…
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Another chupacabra?
Creepy guy with shriveled arm: Nah, I haven't used in a couple months. But if I wanted to start again, I got a savings account now.
5 Bus
San Diego, California
Overheard by: mhd
Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don't donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You'll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you'll get paler and paler… and keel over and die. Homie can't fly that. Homie can't.
Math Classroom
Hawaii
Girl on cell: Wait… Wait! You’re telling me she’s not a zombie? You mean she’s actually dead?
Emory College
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Zack
Overweight mom, walking away from grave, to young sons: If you don't start behaving, you are going to be buried here.
Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia
Girl, at beginning of Jesus Christ Superstar: Are they going to kill Jesus?
Boyfriend: Well…yes, Sarah. That's sort of how it works.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Girl in North Face jacket and Uggs to clone friends: I mean, why couldn't it have been a normal suicide? Like, this week? Really?
Penn State Library
University Park, Pennsylvania
Guy on cell: You realize it is old people's only duty to die to get out of the way right?
International Airport
Louisville, Kentucky
Woman #1: Oh, did I tell you? I had a dream last night about Ray. He told me that he was okay where he was.
Woman #2: You know what that means, right? It means he's gone up to heaven.
Woman #3: Or… It could simply mean that you dreamed about Ray.
Woman #2: You have to have some faith in dreams. Remember that bible story: Jacob and the technicolor bathrobe.
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Wondering if they took many baths back in those days to reqire bathrobes
