Hungover conference attendee: Ugh, it's early.
Appalled conference attendee, scooting chair away: You smell like a dead hooker covered in alcoholic bum piss. And avocado.
Conference Center
Las Vegas, Nevada
Hungover conference attendee: Ugh, it's early.
Appalled conference attendee, scooting chair away: You smell like a dead hooker covered in alcoholic bum piss. And avocado.
Conference Center
Las Vegas, Nevada
Fratty-looking queer #1: I need some lip balm. My lips feel all dried up, like…old fruit.
Fratty looking queer #2: You are an old fruit. (pause) No, really, you're 25, which means you're almost 30, which means you're almost dead.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: gymbo
Teen #1: I hate her. She is such a milk!
Teen #2: What? Don’t you mean “milf”?
Teen #1: No, man. She is a mother I would like to kill.
Teen #2: Oh. I think she is a milky milf!
Teen #1: There is something wrong with you.
Columbia, South Carolina
Guy #1 (after guy #2 leaves): Man, I hate him so much.
Girl: What? Why?
Guy #1: Ever since he fell out that window and almost died and shit, girls have been all over him. He's a goddam womanizer.
Girl: He is pretty cute.
Houston, Texas
Girl #1: After he proposed, I thought to myself, “why couldn't he have done this a few days before, so I could show off my ring at the funeral?”
Girl #2: I know, that's such a shame!
University of Delaware
Overheard by: It wasn't even THAT pretty of a ring!
Teen #1: I could fuck your sister.
Teen #2: Yeah? Well, I could fuck a horse.
Teen #1: No you couldn't.
Teen #2: Why not?
Teen #1: You can't just sneak up on a horse and fuck it in the ass.
Teen #2: I wouldn't sneak up on it, I'd let it know I was there.
Teen #1: You'll get kicked in the face. And you'll die.
Teen #2, quietly: Whatever, dude… Just don't fuck my sister!
New York City, New York
Criminal justice professor: Babies are hard. I almost had one die on me. It was pure luck it survived.
http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/05/next-time-go-with-glad-instead-of.html
Overheard by: citycat
Girl #1: Hey girl, what's up? How's your summer? You still runnin' 'round with that bad boy?
Girl #2: Oh no, he dead.
Girl #1: He dead?! No! He dead? When?
Girl #2: Few weeks ago. It don't matter. We weren't goin' out no more.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Little boy, in sing-song: I believe I can fly! I believe I can… die!
Sales clerk: That's the sad version.
JC Penney
Columbia, Missouri
Loud woman on phone: I was at the funeral on Wednesday and Melvin was sitting in the pew behind me. Halfway through the ceremony he leans forward and goes: “We're at the wrong funeral!” So we had to get up and find the right one. When we got there, the hill was so steep the hearse couldn't get up the hill! It was awful!
Train
Aberdeen
Scotland
