Death & dying

Guy #1 (after guy #2 leaves): Man, I hate him so much.
Girl: What? Why?
Guy #1: Ever since he fell out that window and almost died and shit, girls have been all over him. He's a goddam womanizer.
Girl: He is pretty cute.

Houston, Texas

Girl #1: After he proposed, I thought to myself, “why couldn't he have done this a few days before, so I could show off my ring at the funeral?”
Girl #2: I know, that's such a shame!

University of Delaware

Overheard by: It wasn't even THAT pretty of a ring!

Teen #1: I could fuck your sister.
Teen #2: Yeah? Well, I could fuck a horse.
Teen #1: No you couldn't.
Teen #2: Why not?
Teen #1: You can't just sneak up on a horse and fuck it in the ass.
Teen #2: I wouldn't sneak up on it, I'd let it know I was there.
Teen #1: You'll get kicked in the face. And you'll die.
Teen #2, quietly: Whatever, dude… Just don't fuck my sister!

New York City, New York

Criminal justice professor: Babies are hard. I almost had one die on me. It was pure luck it survived.

http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/05/next-time-go-with-glad-instead-of.html

Overheard by: citycat

Girl #1: Hey girl, what's up? How's your summer? You still runnin' 'round with that bad boy?
Girl #2: Oh no, he dead.
Girl #1: He dead?! No! He dead? When?
Girl #2: Few weeks ago. It don't matter. We weren't goin' out no more.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Little boy, in sing-song: I believe I can fly! I believe I can… die!
Sales clerk: That's the sad version.

JC Penney
Columbia, Missouri

Loud woman on phone: I was at the funeral on Wednesday and Melvin was sitting in the pew behind me. Halfway through the ceremony he leans forward and goes: “We're at the wrong funeral!” So we had to get up and find the right one. When we got there, the hill was so steep the hearse couldn't get up the hill! It was awful!

Train
Aberdeen
Scotland

Animated professor: And without the socialist revolution, to paraphrase Jar Jar Binks, “People gonna die!”

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Aunt: Well yeah, we dance with the turkey before we put it in the oven.
Girl: What?!
Aunt: Well you know, to give it one last dance.
Girl: One last dance?! As if it danced before!

St.Louis, Missouri

Seven-year-old little boy staring at a little old lady with white hair: You’re going to die!

Hilander
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Koosa