Ditzy teen girl to ditzy friend: Oh my god! I would never be able to live with myself if I died before I lost my virginity!
High School
Springwood
Australia
Ditzy teen girl to ditzy friend: Oh my god! I would never be able to live with myself if I died before I lost my virginity!
High School
Springwood
Australia
Guy: Death is a lot like life.
Girl: So I’ve heard.
Beloit, Wisconsin
Overheard by: I heard that too
Neighbor, talking about busy husband: Yeah, he may take Monday off just to decompose.
Burke, Virginia
Overheard by: Jimmy C
Old man #1: Oh my god! You’re still alive?!
Old man #2: Well, yeah, ya old fuck!
Hoboken, New Jersey
Overheard by: Wendy GK
Woman on the street: In the past 24 hours someone a shoved a dead bird in the grill of my truck!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Friend #1: God! Old people get so pissy when they don’t get their obituaries on time.
Friend #2: Why?
Friend #1: Because they want to know which of their friends has died that week.
Friend #2: Oh, so it’s like Facebook for the elderly!
Memorial Hospital
Sudbury
Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Dani
Tall skinny guy: Did you know that three out of every four deaths on roller coasters are girls? It’s because they’re so small and aerodynamic.
Six Flags
Valencia, California
Old lady: Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just stay as we were and then wake up one day and be dead?
Assisted living center
Iowa
40‐something driver to friend: So I saw some interesting roadkill the other day…
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Another chupacabra?
Creepy guy with shriveled arm: Nah, I haven’t used in a couple months. But if I wanted to start again, I got a savings account now.
5 Bus
San Diego, California
Overheard by: mhd
