Hipster guy to chick: You know, if you drink a lot of Tabasco, your shit will really burn… No, I don’t mean it will hurt. I mean you can light it on fire and it will keep you warm when it’s cold out.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/care_to_present_a_demonstratio.html
Overheard by: hungry muppet
Lady to husband: Hey, they have steaks here, too. They just call them ‘sirloins.’
Applebee’s
Bowling Green, Kentucky
Little girl: Do you have any cinnamon rolls?
Cashier: No.
Little girl: Are you serious?
Cashier: I am serious. I would never joke about something like this.
Starbucks
Denver, Colorado
Woman looking at plate of fajitas: Ummm, I ordered fajitas.
Waiter: Those are fajitas…
Woman: Oh. [Begins eating fajitas.]
Chili’s
Oldsmar, Florida
30-something woman, crossing street in front of Sushi.Com restaurant: Sushi and cum, my two favorite things to eat!
Male companion: That’s my girl!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Four-year-old boy: Dad, for dessert can I have sugar?
Cocoa’s Diner
Hershey, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Gette
Mom with sunscreen in hand: Give me your arm so I can put this on you.
Little boy: Ewww! What is that?
Mom: Sunscreen. What did you think it was?
Little boy: Mayonnaise!
Giants Game, AT&T Park
San Francisco, California
Guy: I’m not really like a saucy, creamy guy.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: the ear
Girl #1, reading menu: What’s ‘asparation’?
Girl #2: That’s when you have dreams.
Girl #1: … But what happens when you sautée them?
Port Angeles, Washington
Overheard by: Emily
