“You’re the Meanest Babysitter Ever!” She Screamed

Suit on cell: Yeah, well, we got into a fight about whether she would rather have a regenerating salami foot, or a regenerating cheese hand. She chose cheese hand, but I explained about the salami foot being protected by socks, while the cheese hand is exposed to everything. The conversation just went downhill from there…

Bellevue, Washington

Posted on April 1, 2026
Body parts, Compare and contrast, Food, Hands, On the phone, Relationships, Sensory experiences, Suits, Washington

At Least You Have Your Priorities Straight

Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don’t know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.

Druid Hills, Atlanta

Overheard by: Miranda

Posted on March 30, 2026
Animals, Compliments, Food, Geography, Georgia, Girls, Guys, Kids, Magic, Questions, Siblings, Threats, Tweens, US Geography, Weather, Wishes

I Mean I Have a Case of the Cups

American guy: Hmm, what should we have for desert?
French girl: I’ve been craving crab cakes. With frosting.
American guy: Uhh, you mean cupcakes?!

3rd St West Hollywood
Los Angeles, California

Posted on March 22, 2026
California, Food, Foreigners, Girls, Guys, Language barrier, Questions, Words

We’re More Of a Honky Hut Family

Black student to white teacher: So we’re going to Sarasota to visit a college up there. Do you know the easiest way to get there?
White teacher: Sure! You can take I-75 straight up, and if you want to stop for something to eat, there’s Cracker Barrel all over the place.
Black student: Cracker Barrel? Umm, no, I don’t think so…

Design and Architecture High School
Miami, Florida

Posted on March 18, 2026
Advice, Black people, Fears, Florida, Food, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Race, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, US Geography

Try the Cap’n Cramps

Woman in cereal aisle: Where’s the one that makes you poop?

Fry’s
Tucson, Arizona

Posted on March 14, 2026
Arizona, Default, Food, Health & Hygiene, Poop, Questions, Stores, Women

The Professor Accused Me of Spreading It on Too Thick

Male art student: I’m in a creative writing class and I’ve been writing a lot of stories about mayonnaise.

Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 13, 2026
Class, Compare and contrast, Education, Food, Guys, Pennsylvania, Students

Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.

Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald’s. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.

McDonald’s
Belo Horizonte
Brazil

Posted on March 10, 2026
Brazil, Coworkers, Crazies, Customers, Death & dying, Etiquette, Food, Hobos, McDonald's, Offers and requests, Questions, Wishes

And Now, Please Clap Along As I Do the Tenure Dance

[Girl leaves class in the middle of a lesson]Professor: She didn’t like what I was saying? I’m so upset, I’m going to go to the garden and eat fuzzy worms.

Marist College
Poughkepsie, New York

Overheard by: Nik