The Professor Accused Me of Spreading It on Too Thick

Male art student: I’m in a creative writing class and I’ve been writing a lot of stories about mayonnaise.

Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 13, 2026
Class, Compare and contrast, Education, Food, Guys, Pennsylvania, Students

Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.

Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald’s. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.

McDonald’s
Belo Horizonte
Brazil

Posted on March 10, 2026
Brazil, Coworkers, Crazies, Customers, Death & dying, Etiquette, Food, Hobos, McDonald's, Offers and requests, Questions, Wishes

And Now, Please Clap Along As I Do the Tenure Dance

[Girl leaves class in the middle of a lesson]Professor: She didn’t like what I was saying? I’m so upset, I’m going to go to the garden and eat fuzzy worms.

Marist College
Poughkepsie, New York

Overheard by: Nik

Posted on March 1, 2026
Class, Education, Feelings, Food, Insects, New York, Teachers

I’d Love to See That Resume

Cashier: Ok, you can step directly over to the salad tosser.
Surprised guy ordering: Her title is “Salad tosser”?

Arby’s Marketfresh
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on January 20, 2026
Employees, Euphemisms, Food, Georgia, Guys, Licking, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants, Words

If You’re Really Bad, I’ll Make You Go in the Ball Pit

Angry father, to young daughter: Do you wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese?
Daughter: [scared silence]Father: Then stop touching shit!

Wal-Mart
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Molly BOOM

Posted on January 9, 2026
Dads, Default, Etiquette, Family, Food, Girls, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Shopping, Stores, Wishes

But He’s Our President, So We Have to Listen

Guy in restaurant to female companion: Of course, this is coming from a guy who eats potpourri…

Central Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio

Posted on January 5, 2026
Bragging, Couples, Default, Food, Guys, Ohio, Women, Words

Father Mike Continues His Downward Spiral

Satisfied customer: They had bacon I would drop-kick a nun for.

Maggie’s
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on December 7, 2025
Bars & Clubs, Canadia, Compliments, Customers, Default, Food

The Turkey Exploded Through the Neighbor’s Window Like a Mortar Round

20-ish girl, reminiscing: Yeah, one year we deep-fried a turkey… But then the driveway caught on fire.
Friend, laughing: What?! How?!
20-ish girl, distressed: I don’t want to talk about it right now.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Celessa Dietzel