Food

Newbie: How do I know when the French toast is done?
Supervisor: When it looks like French toast.

Oceanview Terrace dining hall, UCSD
San Diego, California

Russian mother to young daughter: No, you are not going to eat crayons for lunch!

Nashua, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Crayola

Perky grad student: I got kicked out of vegetarianism for eating brains. I ate brains, I ate testicles, I ate stomachs… Stomachs are really gross.

Blacksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: Amy

Old lady to son: People are like teabags. You know?

Wyoming

50-something man to 50-something woman: You are not homeless. Homeless people don't own dinnerware!

BART Train
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Morpheus

Woman in line at the bank: I am thinking about leaving him. All he does is lie to me!
Friend: Oh? Lie about what?
Woman: Well, yesterday he bought me some of that Nutella spread? He said it was chocolate, but I know for a fact that it's hazelnut!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Girl: I wonder why there are so many Japanese restaurants around here?
Guy: Probably because there are a lot of Mexican people living in this town.

Very Little Town
North Carolina

Girl to sister: The cheese is so good! It tastes like chicken!

Parenra
Houston, Texas

Girl to friends, emphatically: No, we have nipples so that we can milk our children!

Newton, Massachusetts

Guy: Where'd you go for lunch today?
Friend: Umm…I don't want to tell you.
Guy: Oh god, you went to Arby's, didn't you!
Friend, groaning: Yes.

Bar
Omaha, Nebraska