Chick #1: … And then when you woke up you were naked in Las Vegas?
Chick #2: Exactly.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Chick #1: … And then when you woke up you were naked in Las Vegas?
Chick #2: Exactly.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Loud woman: Yeah, Santa was all fucked up on drugs.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Guy on cell: First, you take your girlfriend out drinking. Then she’s getting tattoos and piercings. Now she’s hooking up with chicks. Are you seeing a pattern here?
Light Rail
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Dude #1: He’s real churchy, but emo, too.
Dude #2: Yeah, totally ‘What-Would-Jesus-Cut?’
Sikeston, Missouri
Ghetto chick #1: If I was Kobe’s wife, I woulda left that nigga’s ass.
Ghetto chick #2: Kobe… He fine — I would hit that shit.
Ghetto chick #3: Oooh, girl, do you daddy know you nasty?!
In-N-Out Burger
Carson, California
Overheard by: Kristina & Friends
Girl: Hey! How are you? Anything new and exciting?
Friend: I got rear-ended while driving yesterday because a woman was receiving oral sex.
Kalamazoo College
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Professor: Did those cops find you the other day? They were waiting outside the classroom.
Student: I know. You’re not kidding.
Professor: No, I’m not.
Student: Yeah, I kidnapped the kids over Christmas.
Professor: Good for you.
Arkansas State University
Arkansas
Preppy girl #1: Yeah, so he’s going to be in Iraq until early December, and then he gets to be here until early January, and then he starts his second tour.
Preppy girl #2: That’s awesome.
Preppy girl #1: Yeah, except that he’s dating my best friend.
Judiciary Square Metro Station
Washington, DC
Overheard by: V
Lady #1: I tell you what, I just love that Kelly Ripa.
Lady #2: Oh my god, I know! She’s so tiny!
Lady #1: And tan! She must work out every day!
Lady #2: No, she probably just pukes.
Austin, Texas
Science professor: So, the flower has this thing in it that looks exactly like a female wasp, and it smells like a female wasp. So, the male wasp comes up and tries to mate with it — tries to copulate with it… I had a roommate like that once.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
