Man on cell: They said I sexually molested the cat… I would never do that! I love that cat!
Utah
Man on cell: They said I sexually molested the cat… I would never do that! I love that cat!
Utah
Sorority girl #1: So, like, you still get your period when you’re on the pill.
Sorority girl #2: Yeah, but not when you’re pregnant.
Sorority girl #1: So what’s the point of the pill, then?
Sorority girl #2: It totally makes your boobs bigger.
Airport
Lexington, Kentucky
Southern lady: I’m getting this for my daughter. She lost everything when the roaches took over the trailer.
Call on a home shopping channel
Old black lady to friend: He had shit all fuckin’ dumped out all over the goddamned place, so I says, ‘What the fuck is you doin’, Raphael?’ And that mothafuckah says– [she looks around]. Shit, I forgot they’s white people up in here! Sorry, folks. So, Raphael had made such a terrible mess, so I asked him what he was doing, and he said…
Circle Centre Mall Concourse
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Chick to friend: … So I stuck my fingers up her nose, and I got a free nose ring out of it!
Vassar campus
Poughkeepsie, New York
Woman on cell: I got a million panty liners. You can line your panties until the end of time!
Georgia
Chick: It was a bad night… I was drunk… and high… and I ate half a bottle of ketchup.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/11/hahaoops.html
Overheard by: xcuterboix
Lesbian: … So then she freaked out and her vagina got so tight it bruised my finger.
Queer pal: See? More proof that vaginas can’t be trusted.
Border’s
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Protogarrett
Man: So, like, an hour later I found them — finally — dancing around in a little circle for some drunk guy!
Rundle Street
Adelaide
South Australia
Overheard by: Jimmy Bean
Girl #1: Oh my god, so remember how Ben stopped talking to me and I was pissed but now I’m totally over it and whatever? Well, it turns out that what I didn’t know was that his mother was dying and he was held up at knife point for like 20 minutes and was going through post-traumatic stress… And then I went home for reading week and didn’t call him because I thought he wasn’t talking to me, and that was apparently, like, the straw that broke the camel’s back — like, he really needed me and I wasn’t there for him or something.
Girl #2: Wow. It’s like, ‘Thanks for making me feel like a total bitch.’
Girl #1: I know!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/03/12/this-is-worse-than-that-time-he-couldnt-make-it-on-my-birthday-because-those-aliens-kidnapped-him/
