Pilot over loudspeaker, while landing plane: Whoa there, big fella!
Delta Airlines flight
Pilot over loudspeaker, while landing plane: Whoa there, big fella!
Delta Airlines flight
Young suit: I need to get a new BlackBerry. I dropped my old one in a urinal. Well, I was wearing lederhosen, and they don’t have pockets.
San Jose Airport
California
Overheard by: Keren
Flight attendant: Should the overhead oxygen masks deploy, please put the mask around your face as I will now demonstrate… [Puts mask on, then breathes heavily] Luuuke, I am your father…
US Airways flight to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Male flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally arrived at a gate. Please make sure you have all your personal belongings before you disembark: iPods, cell phones, BlackBerrys, small pets, sweaters, sunglasses, and since we just came from Las Vegas, wedding rings. Make sure you get those back on folks.
Oakland Airport, California
Overheard by: kat
Flight attendant: Contrary to popular belief, pushing the button with the flight attendant on it will not turn your flight attendant on. So don't push it.
Flight to New York
Overheard by: Erica Lynn
Loudspeaker in airport: Please don't leave your belongings unattended.
Crazy lady, to no one: Did they just say homosexuality isn't allowed in the airport?
Airport
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Kristina
PA: Paging arriving passenger Juan Sanchez from Mexico City. Please return to gate B4 to retrieve your piñata.
Airport
Charlotte, North Carolina
Pilot over PA, after taxiing to the gate for ten minutes: Let me know if you guys see something that looks like an airport.
Denver International Airport
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: they're not kidding about being the country's biggest airport
Stewardess: Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen. The first two planes we tried didn't work, so this is the third one and we made it here okay…so, so far, so good!
Airport Runway
Cabo San Lucas
Mexico
Teen #1 coming out of arrival gate to friend: So, when do we start coughing, sneezing and squealing to freak people out?
Teen #2: Dude, people with the swine flu don't squeal!
Teen #1: Then why the hell do they call it that?
Teen #2, jokingly: Because you have to fuck a pig to get it?
Teen #1, seriously: Well, that makes sense!
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts