Guy: I bet you taste like cotton candy. (pause) Is it okay, sometime, if I'm hungry, if I take a little nibble…
Girl: No!
Bellingham, Washington
Guy: I bet you taste like cotton candy. (pause) Is it okay, sometime, if I'm hungry, if I take a little nibble…
Girl: No!
Bellingham, Washington
Guy flirting with cute blonde: Did you know that melons are a natural palate cleanser? Yeah, I’m kind of a melon connoisseur.
Dining hall, UC Santa Cruz
California
40-something pant suit lady #1: I've been trying to cut back on my calories.
40-something pant suit lady #2: Well, you should try…
40-something pant suit lady #3, interrupting: You should try eating a lot of fruit.
40-something pant suit lady #1: Yeah, that sounds like a great idea, my friend told me about…
40-something pant suit lady #2, interrupting: No one ever listens to me! You're always ignoring what I'm saying, and I have a lot of good things to say. (turns to 20-something male at next table) You would listen to me wouldn't you?
20-something male, looking annoyed: No.
Panera
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
Man wearing 9/11 conspiracy t-shirt to friend: Did I tell you I'm working on debunking the discovery channel?
University of Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Vejewsbian
Female college student: Do boys still really have cooties at thirteen?
Male college student: Nope. That’s when they get penises.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Meghan
Little boy to tour bus driver: Thank you.
Bus driver: Now that's a sign of good parenting.
Parent, as he steps off bus: Yeah. We're takin' him on a whiskey tour.
Jack Daniels Distillery
Lynchburg, Tennessee
Goateed gentleman: I tried to teach her that certain words for things were different, like that toothpaste was actually “poop,” but I think I waited until she was a bit too old.
Mars Volta Concert, Rams Head Live
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Greeg
Girl (looking at her graded essay): My professor said, “good use of comma.” What on earth does that mean?
Guy: I don't know… We do go to Suffolk. Maybe he was just impressed that you knew how to use a comma correctly.
Suffolk University
Boston, Massachusetts
Bespectacled, be-hatted, be-flanneled guy to friend: It’s like Seattle without the heroin, New York without the coke. All bets are off. People are drunk 24/7.
Channing and Ellsworth
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Kaitlen, who wishes she knew where they were talking about
20-something guy: I had a threesome once with two lesbians. They were eating each other's pussies out. It was fun.
20-something girl: You liked it?
20-something guy: I didn't say I liked it. I said it was fun.
Norman, Oklahoma
