Guys

Man to woman at post office: Oh, I must be hallucinating.
Post office lady: Congratulations, that's lovely.

Austin, Texas

Guy in pub, having just arrived at the table where his friends are: I have had the strangest day, and I'm not even drunk yet.

Canterbury
England

Overheard by: Noel

Abusive downstairs neighbor to girlfriend trying to break up with him: I haven't called you a bitch or a cunt in ages and I am proud of that!

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Nicole

Screechy woman: We need to figure out what the frack we're doing for Canada day!
Quiet man: Probably sit around and watch the fireworks.
Screechy woman: Noooo, that's such a waste!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: I have the day off, yeeeaahhh!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: Do you think pigs would eat other pigs?
Quiet man, after long pause: I really don't know.

London
Canadia

Overheard by: Watcher of Fireworks

Man pushing his mother in wheelchair: It's all designed to kill you, mother.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Girl: And I was all “his mom is a slut” I mean, she sleeps with everyone.
Boy: Don't talk about my mom that way.
Girl: Why not? I mean, she's my mom, too.
Boy: No, she's not.
Girl: Well, you never know! You weren't there!

San Antonio, Texas

Guy #1: So how was work?
Guy #2: I didn't go.
Guy #1: Oh, take a day off, did you?
Guy #2: Well, I went to Erin*'s house to see if she wanted to talk to my boss about getting a job but she was still asleep, and she looked cute, so I joined her.
Guy #1: Good excuse.

Bayonne, New Jersey

Guy: I wish I had some big ol' titties so I could whack you in the face with 'em.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/10/guy-flirting-withattackingfantasizing.html

Overheard by: ladyoftheice

Emo boy to mother in women's clothing store: I'm more feminine than anyone in here!

Coffs Harbour
Australia

Guy: I will get you anything you want, and I mean anything, if you walk back from lunch with your hand down my pants.
Girl: But we are already walking back from lunch, silly.
Guy: Starting now, if you walk back with your hands down my pants, I will get you anything.
Girl: Anything?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/422165183/ill-even-join-you-in-detention.html

Overheard by: really?