I’m Careful Not to Spend Too Much Time with Women

Asian guy: I hate going there. There’s too many Asian people. I hate being around so many Asian people. It feels too foreign.
Asian friend, holding two Japanese language books: Yeah.

Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Kunoichi

Posted on November 8, 2014
Asians, Canadia, Default, Friends, Gripes, Guys, Race

Tonight, on Frigid Jones's Diary…

Girl: Did you see American Pie last night?
Guy: American Pie? But that's a dirty movie, I thought you were frigid.
Girl: I am frigid but I still watch tv.

Kerry Foods
Ireland

Posted on November 8, 2014
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Ireland, Movies, Sex, Technology

Is That What's Meant by “I'm in a Jam”?

Guy #1: The pop tart is cooked, and by that I mean that I fucked her and now she's pregnant.
Guy #2: I can't wait for the day when I can say that to my mother.

Pullman
Washington

Posted on November 7, 2014
Default, Guys, Pregnancy, Sexuality, Washington, Words

How Did We Meet? Funny Story, Actually…

Guy on cell: My mom's husband is my dad's wife's ex-husband. Now you know why I live in Seattle–as far away as I can get on the continental US.

Bank of America
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Thinking holidays must be rough

Posted on November 7, 2014
Default, Family ties, Geography, Guys, On the phone, Parents, Relationships, Washington, Weirdness

Then Can We Go to New York and See the Statue Of Blueberry?

Five-year-old to father: Yay! We're going to the bridge of pies!

Near “Bridge of Sighs”
Oxford
England

Posted on November 6, 2014
Colleges & Universities, Default, England, Food, Guys, Kids, Words

Be Careful Whose Army You Enlist In, Dear Reader

Very tall woman: I never hear you talk about your uncle. Is he dead?
Short man: No, he's still alive, but he's a Nazi.
Very tall woman: Ha ha.
Short man: No, really. He's a Nazi. He was in the SS and everything.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy

Posted on November 6, 2014
Death & dying, Family ties, Guys, Vermont, Women

You Have to Earn the Right to Stay in Paradise, Pal

Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can’t dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!

Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Lauren