Tourist attractions

Guy, aggressively: I’ll sparkle you!

The Eiffel Tower

Overheard by: Emily

Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?

Anaheim, California

Little girl: So when do we get to see the unicorns?
Dad: There don't have any. Unicorns aren't real.
Little girl: Even African unicorns?
Dad: No, they don't exist either. And even if there were real unicorns, they'd probably be from Europe.

Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: mel

Guy: If someone was legally blind, it would be really hard for them to see in here.

Revenge of the Mummy ride, Universal Studios
Orlando, Florida

Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that's the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!

The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida

Woman to child: I'm not responsible for knowing where you are. It's not my job to watch you. You need to be responsible and know where I'm at.

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Really?

Man to son, coming out of restroom: After what you tried to do to Tigger I'm not sure if you deserve that.

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Tracy

Frat boy to another: Dude, why do we always act like such assholes?

National Zoo
Washington, DC

Overheard by: keeeeem

Mom passing rows of whole fish: When I was a little girl, I used to poke their raw eyeballs with my finger!
Little boy: Wow!

Pike Market
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: wow indeed

Mother pushing stroller with three small boys at her side: Your brother asked you a question. Now answer it or stop talking!

Valley Fair
Shakopee, Minnesota