Tourist attractions

Dumb girl: So what’s the difference between when the guy hits the ball and someone catches it and when someone hits the ball and no one catches it?
Boy: Absolutely nothing.

PETCO Park
San Diego, California

Little boy, covered in glitter: Mom! Casey’s whompin’ glitter on me again!
Little girl: I am not!
Mother: She’s just tryin’ to make you look pretty!

Magic Kingdom, Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Natalie

Twentysomething guy, excitedly: And all I could think was “Thank god im circumsized!”

Cherry Blossom Festival, National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: sara aliza

Little boy: But I don’t care about the dead guys anymore!

Washington Monument
Washington, DC

Little boy to big sister walking behind him: Do you believe in Santa?
Big sister: No! Keep walking.
[big sister shoves him].
Little brother: I heard Santa dislikes girls.

County Fair
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: jake

Guy, aggressively: I’ll sparkle you!

The Eiffel Tower
Paris
France

Overheard by: Emily

Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Little girl: So when do we get to see the unicorns?
Dad: There don't have any. Unicorns aren't real.
Little girl: Even African unicorns?
Dad: No, they don't exist either. And even if there were real unicorns, they'd probably be from Europe.

Zoo
Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: mel

Guy: If someone was legally blind, it would be really hard for them to see in here.

Revenge of the Mummy ride, Universal Studios
Orlando, Florida

Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that's the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!

The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida