New Jersey

Eleventh grade Health teacher: Sigmund Freud did a lot of studies on that.
Jock: Wait, he was the lion tamer, right?

Plainsboro, New Jersey

Overheard by: Siegfried & Roy

College girl: I’m not weird. I just don’t like hugs or blowjobs.
Hippie guy: I don’t understand — how do you greet people?

Rutgers University Student Center
New Brunswick, New Jersey

Hot chick: That’s the dude that was in my oven at three a.m.!

NJ Transit station
New Jersey

Preggers: My baby’s gettin’ the bottle. Ain’t no baby suckin’ on these titties — that ain’t what they’re for…

Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Um, that IS what they’re for

Professor: What song do you think represents your generation? Come on, it can be anything. It can be derogatory, it can call women hos — I don’t care.

Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey

Overheard by: BTAN

30-something man to 30-something woman: So, have you ever tried milk of magnesia?

Newark, New Jersey

Overheard by: why_would_u_ask_that

Old man: You got bats in your belfry?
Jaded 20-something: Yeah, I don't know what I've got in my belfry…

Jersey City, New Jersey

Guy on phone: Hold on a minute, I just have to cut something off my daughter…

Jersey City, New Jersey

Guy #1: So how was work?
Guy #2: I didn't go.
Guy #1: Oh, take a day off, did you?
Guy #2: Well, I went to Erin*'s house to see if she wanted to talk to my boss about getting a job but she was still asleep, and she looked cute, so I joined her.
Guy #1: Good excuse.

Bayonne, New Jersey

Mother to son: Don't you talk to me that way! I'll put my finger anywhere I want to!

Turtle Back Zoo
West Orange, New Jersey

Overheard by: lickety-split