20-something guy on phone: Then I went to McDonald's and they said that I'm too old. I'm not too old! I can go to Chuck E. Cheese if I want! I'm not too old. Just so long as I can have fun. I'm not too old…
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: Just minding my own business as usual.
Girl: I haven't been on a stage since grammar school. Having sex on a stage is so much better than quoting Susan B. Anthony.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Guy: Have you ever seen me suck the tip of my penis?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Cashier on cell phone: I mean… What’s the problem? Ejaculating? Is he ejaculating too much or too little? Which is the problem?
Shoprite
New Jersey
Overheard by: allison
Psychology professor, speaking of horrible deaths in the French Revolution: People are terrible…they should have never been invented.
Rutgers University
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Person
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are normally a six-car train. Today they gave us four cars. I cried, I begged, but to no avail. (10 minutes later) Next stop, Secaucus! Hang on, we're gonna make it!
Transit Train
New Jersey
Overheard by: twoferrets
Girl, about guy in Jason Vorhees mask coming on stage during Halloween skit: I always recognize James* by his thighs.
St. Peter's College
New Jersey
Priest: Their first love has brought them so many tears and grief… and black eyes. But they will love again!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Guy, walking up to greeter: You wouldn't happen to have any buttplugs, would you?
Target
Little Falls, New Jersey
Overheard by: harry bohemis
Professor, discussing sperm's passage to egg: “Come and chase me!” That's what the woman says.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
