Old folks

Because “Wal-Mart” and “Rich People” Are Practically Synonymous

Old lady #1: There’s this neighborhood in Chicago that is absolutely infested with serial killers. Their solution to this was to build a Wal-Mart to bring rich, white people in.
Old lady #2: Did it help?
Old lady #1: No. One of the serial killer victims that was left for dead gave a description for a drawing, and nobody has seen him.
Old lady #2: Maybe he’s locked up during the day. Maybe he’s retarded and lives in a home and sneaks out only at night when no one will notice him.

Oakland, California

Overheard by: Perplexed Cal student

Geez, I’m Trying

Crew member: Sir, you can’t stand here.
Old man, blocking walkway: [Ignores him.]Crew member: Sir! This is a walkway.
Old man: This is foolishness!
Passerby: Why don’t you just die, already?

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Overheard by: uncomfortably waiting for the damn fireworks

The Only Difference between Heaven and Hell

Old lady on cell in crowded train: Yes, I’m here in a sardine tin, but everyone is really nice…

Tel-Aviv
Israel

Overheard by: claustrophobic

Since She’s Only Eleven

Old grump #1: Well, you know how women boast.
Old grump #2: I know that. But I still cannot take her word for it that she is the best lay in the city.

Bloomingdale’s
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: the real deal

Ow! What the Hell?

Conductor: Plenty of seats in the rear, folks!
Old guy, making way through crowd: I’ll take one in the rear!

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/insert-homosexual-joke-here.html

Overheard by: liz the whiz

Wait, I Know Exacly What I’m Going to Do with Myself

Old lady to friend: … And the husband’s given up the Viagra for Lent, so I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself!

Dublin
Ireland

Overheard by: future old lady

I Feel Better Already

Waitress indicating empty seat: Would she like some dessert when she gets back?
Recently abandoned old man: No. She wasn’t feeling good so she went to the Hallmark Store.

Atlas Diner, Strawbridge
Virginia Beach, Virginia

Come, Marilou, We’re Going to a Strip Club

60-ish woman looking in door: I thought you had to have some hooters to be able to work at one.

Hooters
Burbank, California

To the Stake

Woman reading newspaper: I can’t believe how illiterate kids are these days. It says here that when they were asked who Joan of Arc was, many of them said she was Noah’s wife.
Girl: Who was she, Grandma?
Woman: She was the woman who grew her hair long and rode a horse naked.

Port Townsend, Washington

You Don't Know What They're Made Of 'til They Get in Hot Water

Old lady to son: People are like teabags. You know?

Wyoming

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