Old folks

Old woman in roller coaster line: Does this one go upside down? I don't like it when they do upside down.
Little boy: You'll be fine, grandma. Come on!

Universal Studios
Florida

Boy, to teenage girl: Hi, Lisa.
Old man, entering: Hi.

Cafe
Eugene, Oregon

Old dude to another, reminiscing: You still got that briefcase with all that underwear in it?

Kansas City, Missouri

Old man: Are you going somewhere exciting?
Girl with suitcase: Not really. But when I get there, I’m getting laid.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/05/friendly-skies.html

Overheard by: aaron

Old woman: It's like flowers were spitting out of my ass, so don't go telling me how bright and shiny your (makes finger quotes) “effing” life is!

Small Town
Nebraska

60-year-old journalism professor: Oh, the choking game? Heh… I play that all the time.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Grandma: I don't like these halogen lightbulbs. They are ugly, like men's penises.

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Martha

Sweet old lady: Well, when we moved to Gilbert we started up a garden and thought we had volunteer tomato plants.
Sweet middle aged lady: Volunteer?
Sweet old lady: You know, they came up without us planting them. So I started watering them and giving them fertilizer, and they got pretty big. Then one day I was eating dinner and I saw a boy jump over our fence in the back, rip out one of the plants, and take off with it!
Sweet middle aged lady: He stole a tomato plant?
Sweet old lady: Well, there was a sheriff down the street a few days later, so I told him about it. He came over to look at them, and told me they were marijuana plants!
Sweet middle aged lady: They weren't tomatoes?
Sweet old lady: I thought they were, but whoever lived there before us must have planted marijuana in their yard, and when I started watering they sprung up again.
Sweet middle aged lady: That gives me a funny feeling, knowing your house had drug users in it.

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Mia

Elderly woman: You know… It’s so hard to eat pancakes in the nude!

Winchester, Virginia

Overheard by: SB

60-something guy, earnestly, to table full of seemingly level-headed adults: They're going to turn the moon into a weapon, the most powerful weapon ever…

Restaurant
Reno, Nevada

Overheard by: mini-me