Gay goth kid: Diana Ross, what are you doing in my mouth?

Dunkin Donuts
Worcester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: hootinanny

Goth schoolgirl: So, I bought 500 feet of police crime scene tape today. Heheheh!


Overheard by: A vaguely worried teacher

Goth girl: So by working to benefit communism, they started to think that communism wasn't actually so bad!
Creepy guy: You know, some people say that young people aren't deep. You've proved them wrong. (leaves)
Fat friend: Good thing he didn't hear us talking about how Sims should be able to sell drugs.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Goth girl getting stitches: When I want a tasty man snack, I have me a PB&J!

Skyridge Hospital ER
Denver, Colorado

Goth girl wearing blue beehive wig: So Morgan Freeman, a college professor, and a hot guy walk into a ska club.
Friend: And?
Goth girl: Oh, there's no punchline, that actually happened.

Denver, Colorado

Chubby goth girl (gasping): Oh, shit! (spills her coffee)
Skinny punk chick: Did you burn yourself?
Chubby goth girl: No, but I bet my snatch smells like chocolate now.
Skinny punk chick: That's sexy.

Lakeport, California

Plain Jane: Finish eating, so we can go outside!
Goth girl: Quit bossing me around! I just got out of line five minutes ago; it's not my fault that it's 12:45 and I've only eaten half of my lunch!
Popular boy to goth girl: I don't think I've ever heard you speak before.

School Cafeteria
El Paso, Texas

Goth girl: My vagina’s sweating.
Goth boy: They really do that? I thought it was a myth. Man, I’m glad I don’t have one of those.

Congress Avenue and Barton Springs Road
Austin, Texas

Artsy emo: It was like lesbian Fight Club! First Leema liked Holly, then she liked Tracy, who liked Nicola, who also liked Holly. So Nicola and Leema got in a fist fight and in the end, Tracy and Holly had sex in the woodshop classroom!


Goth girl on cell: His dick is huge! I came so hard I was crying! (notices several people looking at her and laughing) Do you fucking mind? This is a private conversation!

Red Line Train
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Joe