Mom: You know, I necked in that funeral home.
Daughter: Mom!
Mom: Oh, honey, it wasn't with a corpse or anything. It was a preacher's son!
West Virginia
Mom: You know, I necked in that funeral home.
Daughter: Mom!
Mom: Oh, honey, it wasn't with a corpse or anything. It was a preacher's son!
West Virginia
40-something pant suit lady #1: I've been trying to cut back on my calories.
40-something pant suit lady #2: Well, you should try…
40-something pant suit lady #3, interrupting: You should try eating a lot of fruit.
40-something pant suit lady #1: Yeah, that sounds like a great idea, my friend told me about…
40-something pant suit lady #2, interrupting: No one ever listens to me! You're always ignoring what I'm saying, and I have a lot of good things to say. (turns to 20-something male at next table) You would listen to me wouldn't you?
20-something male, looking annoyed: No.
Panera
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
Professor flipping rapidly between Powerpoint slides: Take notes now, suckers!
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: a fan of this professor
Man smoking grape shisha out of a hookah: I don’t think I like that one. It tastes just like heroin.
Girlfriend: You can’t just go around saying things taste like heroin!
Virginia
Dude #1: I hate coming in during the middle of girl conversations.
Dude #2: Oh, God — I came in on the wrong end of a tampon conversation the other day…
Dude #1: Is there a good end of a tampon conversation?
Herndon High School
Herndon, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
Girl: I look retarded!
Guy: My balls hurt.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Delta gate agent to another: There's always something wrong with this plane.
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: Hoping to get bumped
Wife to husband: You're back already? That was the quickest poop you've ever done!
Whole Foods
Alexandria, Virginia
