Woman on cell waiting in line for lunch: Oh, to keep you in the loop, we are not getting pregnant any time soon. There is like no sperm. They said there were eight, but they were retarded.
Richmond, Virginia
Woman on cell waiting in line for lunch: Oh, to keep you in the loop, we are not getting pregnant any time soon. There is like no sperm. They said there were eight, but they were retarded.
Richmond, Virginia
Dude #1: Dude, did you see Rachel in class today? Smokin’!
Dude #2: Yeah… I’m totally going to wack off to her spring break pics on Facebook tonight.
Dude #1: She put up spring break pics? Me too, then…
James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Overheard by: OdinUSMC
Teen girl #1: If he was Jewish, he’d be so less Christian, and then he’d be hot.
Teen girl #2: Exactly! I mean, I’d bang him if he just said ‘damn’ every now and then.
Teen girl #1: But nooo, he just has to channel Jesus for us every day.
High school party
Virginia
Drunk queer: There are so many people in the world — especially when you factor in everyone.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: I’d say that’s the best way to do it
Mom: You know, I necked in that funeral home.
Daughter: Mom!
Mom: Oh, honey, it wasn't with a corpse or anything. It was a preacher's son!
West Virginia
40-something pant suit lady #1: I've been trying to cut back on my calories.
40-something pant suit lady #2: Well, you should try…
40-something pant suit lady #3, interrupting: You should try eating a lot of fruit.
40-something pant suit lady #1: Yeah, that sounds like a great idea, my friend told me about…
40-something pant suit lady #2, interrupting: No one ever listens to me! You're always ignoring what I'm saying, and I have a lot of good things to say. (turns to 20-something male at next table) You would listen to me wouldn't you?
20-something male, looking annoyed: No.
Panera
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
Professor flipping rapidly between Powerpoint slides: Take notes now, suckers!
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: a fan of this professor
Man smoking grape shisha out of a hookah: I don’t think I like that one. It tastes just like heroin.
Girlfriend: You can’t just go around saying things taste like heroin!
Virginia
Dude #1: I hate coming in during the middle of girl conversations.
Dude #2: Oh, God — I came in on the wrong end of a tampon conversation the other day…
Dude #1: Is there a good end of a tampon conversation?
Herndon High School
Herndon, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
