Loud woman: How do you spell ‘taxi’?
1801 Alexander Bell Drive
Reston, Virginia
Guy at dinner: Yeah, we figured we’d just have a low key night with just a few beers and some margaritas, but then Ann* was like, ‘Wow, I haven’t had any liquor in two months!’ so the next thing you know, we’re dropping 60 bucks at the liquor store, then the backyard porch swing’s on fire… It was a pretty fun night.
Arlington, Virginia
Hoochie: I do have good morals, I’m just really drunk all the time.
Washington and Lee University
Lexington, Virginia
Girl: An Ambien in the shower is almost as good as a Screwdriver in the shower.
Lexington, Virginia
Overheard by: Kelly
German teacher: Mmm, ahhh-gentive! It’s like a spicy taco!
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: bekkaroo
Old Russian man, gesturing: My little finger is bigger than my father’s loin.
Bread & Chocolate
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: LizWasStunned
Dad, screaming at four kids: Get back here, you little bastards! If you don’t behave, I’ll make you sleep in the hotel bathroom when we get there! [10-year-old drops his ticket, and it starts blowing away.] Jimmy! What the hell?! How could you do something so fucking stupid?! Well, what are you standing there for? Run and get it!
Mom, screaming at dad: Why don’t you relax?! He dropped his ticket — so what, you son of a bitch?! We’ll make it there and then you will relax! Your stress issues are really driving me crazy!
Lady behind them in line, to her own husband: I love you, honey.
Airport
Virginia
Lady on cell: The biggest story of the year is going to be about Raven. That whore! I know! The whore is in town. Cheap slut, USA… No, honey, you can’t have ice cream for dinner.
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: wait.. my name is raven
Nerd: She looks like Shrek, but she sings well.
School bus
Northern Virginia
Overheard by: Alanna
Four-year-old girl: Step off, Mommy!
Gainesville, Virginia
Overheard by: x-tina wif a k
