Male professor: Yes, Miss…? Uh…
Hot chick, raising hand: Beaver.
Professor: Beaver? How come I don’t remember that being your last name? You don’t look like a ‘Beaver.’ Maybe if you were wet… [Entire class goes silent, then erupts with laughter.]Professor, embarrassed: I meant because beavers live around the water!
History class, Northern Virginia Community College
Annandale, Virginia
Overheard by: Classmate
Black student #1, to teacher: Ayo, man! Naw, naw [babbles on, but no one can understand].
Teacher: … What?
Black student #2: Man, I’m black and I didn’t even understand that!
Manassas, Virginia
Guy: So, I heard your daughter is walking around half-naked. Congratulations!
Harvest Faire
Newport News, Virginia
Boy: Can you have sex when a girl is really pregnant?
Health teacher: Well, you’d have to be creative.
Boy: What? You mean like role playing?
Annandale, Virginia
Student: Okay, so maybe he was inside me and I was moving around, but it wasn’t sex.
Williamsburg, Virginia
Mom to daughter: All I’m saying is, it would really help get rid of your fat and your pimples.
Mount Vernon
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: mm2105
Angry guy on cell: Billy, I have one word for you — fucking piece of shit!
Sterling, Virginia
Woman: How was church? Did you learn anything in Sunday school?
Girl: No.
Cracker Barrel restroom
Virginia
WASP lady: I bought this ring here and it really smells. Every time I put my hand up to my face it makes me want to vomit.
Jewelry shop
Alexandria, Virginia
Girl on phone with boyfriend: I’m in such a bad mood, I don’t even know! When I get home, you better not have a smile on your face or I will slap yo’ ass. Misery loves company up in here, bitch!
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: C. Barreto
