Old Russian man, gesturing: My little finger is bigger than my father’s loin.
Bread & Chocolate
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: LizWasStunned
Old Russian man, gesturing: My little finger is bigger than my father’s loin.
Bread & Chocolate
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: LizWasStunned
Dad, screaming at four kids: Get back here, you little bastards! If you don’t behave, I’ll make you sleep in the hotel bathroom when we get there! [10-year-old drops his ticket, and it starts blowing away.] Jimmy! What the hell?! How could you do something so fucking stupid?! Well, what are you standing there for? Run and get it!
Mom, screaming at dad: Why don’t you relax?! He dropped his ticket — so what, you son of a bitch?! We’ll make it there and then you will relax! Your stress issues are really driving me crazy!
Lady behind them in line, to her own husband: I love you, honey.
Airport
Virginia
Lady on cell: The biggest story of the year is going to be about Raven. That whore! I know! The whore is in town. Cheap slut, USA… No, honey, you can’t have ice cream for dinner.
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: wait.. my name is raven
Nerd: She looks like Shrek, but she sings well.
School bus
Northern Virginia
Overheard by: Alanna
Four-year-old girl: Step off, Mommy!
Gainesville, Virginia
Overheard by: x-tina wif a k
Male professor: Yes, Miss…? Uh…
Hot chick, raising hand: Beaver.
Professor: Beaver? How come I don’t remember that being your last name? You don’t look like a ‘Beaver.’ Maybe if you were wet… [Entire class goes silent, then erupts with laughter.]Professor, embarrassed: I meant because beavers live around the water!
History class, Northern Virginia Community College
Annandale, Virginia
Overheard by: Classmate
Black student #1, to teacher: Ayo, man! Naw, naw [babbles on, but no one can understand].
Teacher: … What?
Black student #2: Man, I’m black and I didn’t even understand that!
Manassas, Virginia
Guy: So, I heard your daughter is walking around half-naked. Congratulations!
Harvest Faire
Newport News, Virginia
Boy: Can you have sex when a girl is really pregnant?
Health teacher: Well, you’d have to be creative.
Boy: What? You mean like role playing?
Annandale, Virginia
Student: Okay, so maybe he was inside me and I was moving around, but it wasn’t sex.
Williamsburg, Virginia
