Horses: Are You Putting on Weight?

Chick: … And that’s why I’m scared of horses! They’re so mean!

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Taylor Boatright

Posted on June 30, 2015
Animals, Chicks, Virginia

Like, Is It Still in the Shrink Wrap? Lightly Used? Ruined?

Poetry girl: I've been so depressed all weekend.
Poetry guy: Well, why have you been so depressed?
Poetry girl: I wrote this poem about divorce, so I was thinking about divorce all weekend, and it just made me so depressed.
(long pause)
Poetry girl, loudly: Can you tell me about the human condition? I mean, can you really tell me about the human condition?

George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia

Overheard by: The Bu

Posted on June 29, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Virginia

Nah, Just Another Psychotic Break

The pilot is sitting in the cockpit making clicking noises and singing in a falsetto voice.

Flight attendant: Are you high?

On the runway
Dulles, Virginia

Overheard by: first class is scary

Posted on June 28, 2015
Airports & flights, Flight attendants, Questions, Virginia

Well You Asked, Mom.

Dude on cell: Well, I’m either gonna go see the hypnotist or masturbate.

James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: asm

Posted on June 25, 2015
Gossip, On the phone, Time Management, Virginia

Because Jello Is More Traditional

Girl to friend: I just don't understand why people don't want to be covered in spaghetti!

University of Virginia

Overheard by: MW

Posted on June 16, 2015
Food, Girls, Sensory experiences, Virginia, Weirdness

But Slightly More Than Salt and Pepa

Sociology professor: Today, we'll be talking about sex.
(students mumble)
Sociology professor: I heard that. (pause) How much do I know about it? Well, I can tell you: less than my cheating ex-girlfriend.

University Classroom
Virginia

Overheard by: Nicole

Posted on June 12, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Infidelity, Questions, Sex, Teachers, Virginia

Listen for the Whistle-Like Singing

Child: Mom! Mom! Where did you go?
Mom, an aisle over: I’m right over here, honey!
Child: Where are you, Mom?
Mom: I’m just an aisle over, honey!
Child: But I don’t see your blowhole!

Toys ‘R’ Us
Virginia

Overheard by: bza

Posted on June 8, 2015
Body parts, Kids, Virginia

We Named Them After the Kids on Seventh Heaven

Woman on cell waiting in line for lunch: Oh, to keep you in the loop, we are not getting pregnant any time soon. There is like no sperm. They said there were eight, but they were retarded.

Richmond, Virginia

Posted on June 7, 2015
Default, On the phone, Pregnancy, Virginia, Women

Do You Date Much?

Mother: Why are you so exhausted?
Chubby teen, out of breath: There… Was… Dog!
Mom: You ran from a dog?
Chubby teen: I ran… From Cerberus, watchdog of Hades.

Pulaski, Virginia

Posted on June 5, 2015
Animals, Moms, Teens, Virginia, Weirdness

Should We Invite Her?

Dude #1: Dude, did you see Rachel in class today? Smokin’!
Dude #2: Yeah… I’m totally going to wack off to her spring break pics on Facebook tonight.
Dude #1: She put up spring break pics? Me too, then…

James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: OdinUSMC

Posted on December 6, 2014
Frat boy types, Getting off, Virginia