Computer science kid on phone: No, do the balls first, then the walls… Yes, the balls — do the balls. No, not walls first… Balls! Do balls first! Then you can check to see if they get moved and get larger. Yes, you want large balls, so do the balls first!
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/long-time-no-update.html
Overheard by: probablysaiditall
Surgeon #1: … So I told him, ‘If you just stop putting it in your ass, you won’t have that problem!’
Surgeon #2: Yeah.
Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Frustrated brunette: I just wish he would leave me alone! He’s always following me!
Friend #1: I know. I’m sorry, sweetie.
Frustrated brunette: What can I do? Maybe I can change the way I look so he won’t recognize me.
Friend #2, after long pause: You could cut off your legs!
Ithaca College
New York
Overheard by: LadyDisdain
Police helicopter hovering with spotlight on suspect, over loudspeaker: Stop running. You can’t get away. Just give yourself up. Stop running… No, don’t go in the water. You won’t make it across. No, don’t– Yeah, it’s fucking cold, isn’t it, dumbass? Just get out of the water!
American River Parkway
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Ree
Man #1: What’s that bruise on your forehead from?
Man #2: Watch out for someone in diapers carrying a mallet.
Man #1: I’ve found that to be sage advice in multiple situations…
Wausau, Wisconsin
Professor with heavy German accent: Have a good weekend, and don’t get broken by pleasure!
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Chick: Okay, so here’s the story — I don’t know what to do about my crackhead boyfriend. He’s, like, seriously on crack…
Friend: I really think you’re over-thinking everything…
Green line bus, University of Connecticut
Storrs, Connecticut
Skinny guy in tank top showing girl some crumpled mugshot: Have you seen this man before?
Girl on treadmill: Ummm, no?
Skinny guy: Well, he’s a rapist, and he’s at large. So if you see him, or if you get scared at night, just give me a call [hands her a phone number].
Gym
Cary, North Carolina
Mom to daughter: All I’m saying is, it would really help get rid of your fat and your pimples.
Mount Vernon
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: mm2105
Dude on cell: Okay, here’s what you do — invite everyone over, fill the sprinkler systems with paint, and then just see what happens!
Mimi’s Café
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: MF Orange Slice
