Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Really? Well, even though you’re three weeks late, you totally don’t have to worry until a month after you guys actually did it. So you’ve definitely got at least a week left until you need to start worrying.
Teen girl #2: … Really?
Teen girl #1: Yes, I’m completely sure. You’re totally fine. Golden. Except that you’re 17 and might be pregnant.
Dallas Airport
Dallas, Texas
Four-year-old boy to eight-year-old sister: Geez! Just take some Midol and relax!
Six Flags
Maryland
Meathead to another: Dude, are you in a relationship? ‘Cause if you’re not in a relationship, you don’t have to call her ever. Do you hear me? Ever!
Safeway
Ellensburg, Washington
Conductor: The worst thing that you can do in an emergency is to pull the emergency cord. Never pull the emergency cord if it is an emergency!
Boston subway
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: daily commuter
Grandpa to grandson: … And no one but nobody can be a young leader if they crack their knuckles!
Washington, DC
Ticket collector: The bus is now here. Anyone going to Camden, Malden, or Newark, please step forward.
Custodian: Come on, step forward. You don’t gotta be embarrassed if you’re going to Newark.
Greyhound Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Guy: You gotta watch out for the Italian Air Force, dude. They’ve got, like, hang-gliders, and guys who throw rocks.
University of Maryland, College Park
Maryland
Overheard by: Sara
Professor: Usually people ride donkeys to the top of the mountain because it’s really steep. Afterwards, you can go down on the donkeys, too, if you’d like.
Oglethorpe University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
Preggers snapping at hubby: He said they don’t have it! That means they don’t have it!
Husband, pushing cart with two-year-old in seat: Get over yourself, babe. We’ll be in the car.
Two-year-old: Mama!
Husband, under his breath: Your mom better hurry up and have that kid, dude.
Fred Meyer
Issaquah, Washington
Overheard by: Bryan
Guy : So, I was fooling around with your sister that night at the bar, and she was like–
Friend: –Dude, be careful. She’s probably out of control in bed. You know — sheltered life…
Atlanta, Georgia
