Health teacher: Man, you girls these days! Wanting to have all the wrong kinds of fun… You know what, if a vagina was used by 15 different people, that vagina would probably be as wide as this door!
McNair Academic High School
Jersey City, New Jersey
Man on cell: I wouldn’t worry about her though, she’s dead.
Newark airport
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: catherine
Goth girl: I’m so proud of my sister. The rest of her classmates are doing their final projects on chihuahuas and stuff like that. My sister? Serial killers.
Friend: Dude, you’re turning her into a you.
Goth girl: I know! My mom is so pissed at me.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Lady on PA system: United 119 passengers can claim their baggage at carousel D… D as in delicious. Delicious mango. Delicious, delicious mangoes.
Logan International Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: John Y
Girl: Look, you have to tell her.
Guy: I can’t tell her! I’ve kept this for so long!
Girl: If she really loves you that much she’ll understand.
Guy: How can I tell the girl that I love that I don’t like musicals?!
Bruin Walk, UCLA
California
Overheard by: if that’s the worst thing in your relationship…
Man on cell: One needs to do two things: Read Tolstoy and watch Paris Hilton.
http://lefulelve.freeblog.hu/archives/2008/03/02/2981402/
Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Really? Well, even though you’re three weeks late, you totally don’t have to worry until a month after you guys actually did it. So you’ve definitely got at least a week left until you need to start worrying.
Teen girl #2: … Really?
Teen girl #1: Yes, I’m completely sure. You’re totally fine. Golden. Except that you’re 17 and might be pregnant.
Dallas Airport
Dallas, Texas
Four-year-old boy to eight-year-old sister: Geez! Just take some Midol and relax!
Six Flags
Maryland
Meathead to another: Dude, are you in a relationship? ‘Cause if you’re not in a relationship, you don’t have to call her ever. Do you hear me? Ever!
Safeway
Ellensburg, Washington
