Guy to another: Running naked with a sword is just not a good idea.
Guelph
Canadia
Guy to another: Running naked with a sword is just not a good idea.
Guelph
Canadia
Man walking down street: Dude… your woman just said “we need to talk.” You need to get the fuck out of there right now!
San Francisco, California
Volunteer director to group of teenage volunteers: Now, ya gotta be careful or the tractor tires will catch on fire.
Teenage volunteers: (incredulous laughter)
Volunteer director: No, seriously! Last year they caught on fire and I totally had to pee on them!
Sonoma County, California
Overheard by: where was I last year?!
Husband: I'm good at finding little kids' panties.
Wife: That's not a quality that you should announce.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Five-year boy in front of a door: (frantically) Which one? I have to go!
Exasperated mother: The men’s room.
Little boy: Which one?!
Mother: That one (points) and that’s why you need to learn to read.
Barnes & Noble
Cary, North Carolina
Guy #1: Are you gonna get tested?
Guy #2: I think the Lauren thing pretty much takes care of it.
Guy #3: You should still get tested.
Guy #2: Yeeeah, but I don’t like getting blood taken from me and I don’t have any like, symptoms, so…
Guy #3: Well, I haven’t seen your penis.
Simon Fraser University
British Columbia
Canadia
Loud girl on cell: Don't you think he might just be settling for you because he don't have no other choice? (pause) What I mean is, he's only marrying you because he can't find no one better? (pause) This is what I'm talkin' about. You don't know nothing. He don't want to marry you. He just is cause he ain't got nothing better to do. (pause) Yes, I am serious. Don't take that tone with me. I know what I'm talkin' about!
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Teenage girl: It's like every time we get close he backs out. I can't help to think it has something to do with his penis size.
Friend: Next time just throw him over your shoulder and take him back to the cave.
Santee, California
Overheard by: Story of my life
Professor: I urge you to visit the TA as well, because we have complementary viewpoints. For example, he’s with it… and I’m not.
UNC-Chapel Hill
North Carolina
Overheard by: Li’l Bit
Mother to little boy: Stop that! You're gonna hurt your scrotum!
Boston, Massachusetts