Advice

Grandpa to grandson: … And no one but nobody can be a young leader if they crack their knuckles!

Washington, DC

Ticket collector: The bus is now here. Anyone going to Camden, Malden, or Newark, please step forward.
Custodian: Come on, step forward. You don’t gotta be embarrassed if you’re going to Newark.

Greyhound Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Guy: You gotta watch out for the Italian Air Force, dude. They’ve got, like, hang-gliders, and guys who throw rocks.

University of Maryland, College Park
Maryland

Overheard by: Sara

Professor: Usually people ride donkeys to the top of the mountain because it’s really steep. Afterwards, you can go down on the donkeys, too, if you’d like.

Oglethorpe University
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Caylin

Preggers snapping at hubby: He said they don’t have it! That means they don’t have it!
Husband, pushing cart with two-year-old in seat: Get over yourself, babe. We’ll be in the car.
Two-year-old: Mama!
Husband, under his breath: Your mom better hurry up and have that kid, dude.

Fred Meyer
Issaquah, Washington

Overheard by: Bryan

Guy : So, I was fooling around with your sister that night at the bar, and she was like–
Friend: –Dude, be careful. She’s probably out of control in bed. You know — sheltered life…

Atlanta, Georgia

Fat chick: My dad has a bow and arrow that you can probably borrow, but try the chocolate laxatives first.

Chambersburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: gidgetgirl

American history professor: Whoever is writing ‘vah-jay-jay’ instead of ‘Virginia’ in the notes they are submitting, please stop.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Announcement over PA system: If any patients have left their shoes in reception, please come and collect them before they are destroyed.

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardlondon/19000.html

Overheard by:

Mother crossing street with three-year-old daughter: Molly*, stay in the crosswalk. Stay in the crosswalk! Molly! You are not in New York City!

Southern Village
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Overheard by: staying between the lines