The Two Main Entertainment Options in Chambersburg

Fat chick: My dad has a bow and arrow that you can probably borrow, but try the chocolate laxatives first.

Chambersburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: gidgetgirl

Posted on October 31, 2025
Advice, Default, Fat people, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania

And Calling President Washington “G-Money” Is Just Wrong

American history professor: Whoever is writing ‘vah-jay-jay’ instead of ‘Virginia’ in the notes they are submitting, please stop.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Posted on October 31, 2025
Advice, Default, Eavesdrop DC, Teachers, Washington, DC, Words

Repeat: Shoe Destruction Is Imminent

Announcement over PA system: If any patients have left their shoes in reception, please come and collect them before they are destroyed.

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardlondon/19000.html

Overheard by:

Posted on October 30, 2025
Advice, Default, Employees, England, Overheard in London's Journal, Shoes

So Put Out That Cigarette, Too

Mother crossing street with three-year-old daughter: Molly*, stay in the crosswalk. Stay in the crosswalk! Molly! You are not in New York City!

Southern Village
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Overheard by: staying between the lines

Posted on October 29, 2025
Advice, Default, Geography, Moms, North Carolina

If the Lifetime Channel Began Programming for Men

Guy #1: So, it’s cold outside — should we take the underground tunnel?
Guy #2: I dunno… It’s kind of sketchy down there. Don’t blame me if we get raped by a gang of chimpanzees.

Montreal
Canadia

Posted on October 28, 2025
Advice, Animals, Canadia, Default, Gripes, Guys, Weather

Bungee Boobs Are a Serious Problem in New Jersey

Teacher: It should be written in the dress code, ‘Girls with bouncy boobs need to cover them up.’ Seriously! These girls are one bounce away from getting tips!

Jackson Memorial High School
New Jersey

Overheard by: Diana

Posted on October 21, 2025
Advice, Default, Education, Gripes, New Jersey, Rack, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers

For Extra Credit, You Can Peek Under My Eyepatch

Professor: So, the point of this lecture is never, ever buy a squirrel monkey. They will plot your demise and gouge your eyes out in your sleep.

DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on October 20, 2025
Advice, Animals, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Illinois, Teachers

Instead of Making License Plates, Like Usual

Dad to two-year-old daughter, before dropping her off at daycare: What are you going to do with the other kids today? … You should teach them all to be cage-fighters!

Ada, Ohio

Overheard by: Marci

Posted on September 23, 2025
Advice, Dads, Ohio

To Buy from Us Is to Be Royally Fucked

Cute chick on cell: No, I’m on my way to work. Come visit me there! … No, it’s not weird! … Well, yeah, it’s a sex shop, but it’s a boutique sex shop!

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Want her business card

Posted on September 16, 2025
Advice, Australia, Chicks, On the phone, Shopping

It’s the Only Weapon the Old Folks Have, and They Use It

Hippie woman on cell: I don’t care what you wear. Just wear something that you’re okay getting Jell-O on… Yes, J-E-L-L-O.

Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: paula-t

Posted on September 14, 2025
Advice, Clothes, Food, Hippies, New York, On the phone, Women

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