Mother to daughter: You don’t want to piss me off in the happiest place on earth!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Mother to daughter: You don’t want to piss me off in the happiest place on earth!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Serious girl: You have to clean your bathroom or else there’ll be hungry ghosts lurking behind your toilet.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Drunk college student: What’s up, man?
Tired-looking bum: Allah! Allah always be up.
Drunk college student: True. True. Holla’ at your boy.
Green Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: On my way to church
Fat kid: Mom, I wanna go on a diet.
Fat mom: You don’t need to go on a diet, you’re too young!
Fat kid: You aren’t too young.
Fat mom: Shush.
Meat Section at Publix
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Trevor Allen
African professor: It is up to you to decide whether he was accurately and eloquently speaking BS.
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Philosophy professor: Whatever you do guys, you can’t let Descartes come through the back door!
Students: [Laugh hysterically.]Philosophy professor: It’s not funny! Descartes always tries to come through the back door!
University of Portland
Oregon
Overheard by: B Student
Annoyed suit: Sir, don’t make me break out the “Canterbury Tales!”
Washington, DC
Overly optimistic girl: He’s kinda sketchy, but in a nice way.
Passing stranger: Not possible!
Concordia University
Montreal
Canadia
Male flight attendant: … And if you brought more than two children with you today, decide which your favorite is and oxygen that one first.
Southwest Airlines Flight #135
Health teacher: Man, you girls these days! Wanting to have all the wrong kinds of fun… You know what, if a vagina was used by 15 different people, that vagina would probably be as wide as this door!
McNair Academic High School
Jersey City, New Jersey
