Alabama

Professor, showing slide: And here we have another example of a seal or stamp, with a procession of men along the bottom. However, they could be aliens. (pause) Anyways…

Art History Class
University of Alabama

Overheard by: Bennett

Attractive teenage girl on cell, visibly upset: Man, not even my therapist understands my concerns that I'm not emotionally ready for Harry Potter to end. It's all just very sad and everyone thinks I'm crazy. Goddamn.

Alabama

Girl to friend: So on the way here, I joined the mile high club…by myself!

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Hungover guy #1: Dude, you smell like alcohol!
Hungover guy #2: Bro, I feel like alcohol.

Elmore, Alabama

40-year-old virgin #1: Did I tell you I beat Mortal Kombat?
40-year-old virgin #2: Uh-uh.
40-year-old virgin #1: Well, I did, and now my life has no meaning.

Birmingham, Alabama

Young man: Female curling is awesome to watch with your eyes closed.

Hoover, Alabama

Overheard by: tony jones

Guy: Man, there's too much ketchup on my plate, it looks like my fries committed suicide.
Girl: I often think about that before I stick you in my mouth, too.
Guy: Fuck off , Andrea.

Northern Alabama

Girl #1: Me and my boyfriend play this game called jeep, and it's when you see a jeep you say “jeep,” and I will win.
Girl #2: That sounds like fun!

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: No I will

Obese teenager to mom: I wish I had an ice cream maker built into my steering wheel.
Mother: Stop.

Mobile, Alabama

Teen ordering at Subway: Yeah, I want mustard.
Teen friend: No way. Mustard?
Teen ordering: I like mustard.
Teen friend: Omigod, I'm telling Paul* and he's never gonna talk to you again.
Teen ordering: What? Omigod! No, don't!
Teen friend, pulling out phone and dialing: Too late.
Teen ordering, almost crying: I like Paul*!
Teen friend, answering phone: Hello? Paulie! Natasha* loves mustard. (pause) Oh. Never mind, Paul* likes mustard.
Cashier: Um, are you two drunk?
Teen ordering, wide-eyed: Do you like mustard?

Subway
Alabama

Overheard by: they were drunk.