Gamer dude: … and the game comes with like, real guns.
Wannabe goth chick: They’re actual guns?
Gamer dude: Well like, real models. And it comes with this mirror that lets you see yourself and like, shows what you look like if you get shot in the face.
Wannabe goth chick: That’s nice. That’s not something you would normally get to see if you got shot in the face.
UAB
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Kitty-Jack
Teen girl #1, drawing faces on napkins with sharpies: Look! I named this one Mr Toastpuff!
Teen girl #2: Wonderful.
Teen girl #1: He's my best friend!
Teen girl #2: You replaced me with a napkin?
Teen girl #1: Well, you replaced me with a potato!
Teen girl #2: True…
Birmingham, Alabama
Whiny five-year-old: Mama! I'm soooo hungry!
Frustrated mom: Well, I don't care! And do you know why? Nobody ever died from hunger!
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Girl #1: So… He’s gay?
Girl #2: Well, I’m not sure if he’s gay so much as he just, like, sleeps with anything that moves.
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Woman #1: Sorry I'm late, I had bad anxiety.
Woman #2: I have bad allergies and a hangover.
Woman #1: Well, I'm pregnant.
Woman #3, looking up suddenly: What!?
Woman #1: Top that!
Barnes & Noble
Birmingham, Alabama
Grad student #1: That waiter is wearing a toupée!
Grad student #2: No, he isn’t!
Grad student #1: Yes, he is! Some people have gay-dar — I have toupée-dar!
5 Points South
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Eric
Sorostitute: Oh my god! Your baby is so cute! How old is she?
Single mom: One.
Sorostitute: Oh my god. She is so precious! I love children, I keep the nursery in church and I used to babysit, like, all the time. Do you think I could…
Single mom: No.
Sorostitute: Hold her?
Single mom: No.
University of Alabama
Girl #1, reading aloud from a magazine: Did you know there are only 13 blimps in the entire world?
Girl #2: What's a blimp?
Girl #1: I don't know, but Liam wants to be killed by one.
Birmingham, Alabama
Professor on first day of class: Hi, my name is Jerry Anderson*. You can call me Jerry, you can call me Anderson… You might want to call me Bastard Ass-fucker, but I’d prefer if you kept that to yourself.
University of Alabama
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
American Government professor: And our second candidate for class president was born to a military family in 1990, which almost makes me sick to my stomach when I think about what I was doing in 1990. See, you could be my baby!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
