Grad student #1: That waiter is wearing a toupée!
Grad student #2: No, he isn’t!
Grad student #1: Yes, he is! Some people have gay-dar — I have toupée-dar!
5 Points South
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Eric
Grad student #1: That waiter is wearing a toupée!
Grad student #2: No, he isn’t!
Grad student #1: Yes, he is! Some people have gay-dar — I have toupée-dar!
5 Points South
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Eric
Sorostitute: Oh my god! Your baby is so cute! How old is she?
Single mom: One.
Sorostitute: Oh my god. She is so precious! I love children, I keep the nursery in church and I used to babysit, like, all the time. Do you think I could…
Single mom: No.
Sorostitute: Hold her?
Single mom: No.
University of Alabama
Girl #1, reading aloud from a magazine: Did you know there are only 13 blimps in the entire world?
Girl #2: What's a blimp?
Girl #1: I don't know, but Liam wants to be killed by one.
Birmingham, Alabama
American Government professor: And our second candidate for class president was born to a military family in 1990, which almost makes me sick to my stomach when I think about what I was doing in 1990. See, you could be my baby!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Professor on first day of class: Hi, my name is Jerry Anderson*. You can call me Jerry, you can call me Anderson… You might want to call me Bastard Ass-fucker, but I’d prefer if you kept that to yourself.
University of Alabama
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Professor, showing slide: And here we have another example of a seal or stamp, with a procession of men along the bottom. However, they could be aliens. (pause) Anyways…
Art History Class
University of Alabama
Overheard by: Bennett
Attractive teenage girl on cell, visibly upset: Man, not even my therapist understands my concerns that I'm not emotionally ready for Harry Potter to end. It's all just very sad and everyone thinks I'm crazy. Goddamn.
Alabama
Girl to friend: So on the way here, I joined the mile high club…by myself!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Hungover guy #1: Dude, you smell like alcohol!
Hungover guy #2: Bro, I feel like alcohol.
Elmore, Alabama
