Hipster girl: I know a couple people who have to wear diapers when they drink!
Old Tavern Bar & Grill
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: kat
Hipster girl: I know a couple people who have to wear diapers when they drink!
Old Tavern Bar & Grill
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: kat
Drunk (just thrown out): I bet if had really big boobs you'd let me back in.
Cop working security for the club: No, actually we wouldn't.
Drunk: What, you don't like big boobs?
Cop: Not on dudes.
Drunk: Huh? No, I mean if I was a chick.
Cop: You'd make a really ugly chick.
Drunk: Huh?
Cop: Get the fuck out of here.
Nightclub
Scottsdale, Arizona
Girl #1: It's just that I feel like Amazon is judging me.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I bought one gay erotica book and now it wants me to buy Japanese porn.
Starbucks
Ukiah, California
(two girls exit bathroom stall together)
Girl #1: It was such a pleasure watching you. It was bliss.
Elbo Room Bar
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: crafty biotech
Girl in stall: I have paper stuck in my vagina.
Friend: You might not want to say that, there’s people here.
Girl in stall: Why is vagina a bad word?
Ladies Room, Foreplay Bar
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: How did it get there?
Middle-aged creepster: She was a slut in middle school, so she’s my type of girl.
Gentle Bens Brewery
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: a middle school slut
Guy: You know, I’m usually anti-slavery… Except when I drink, then I’m all for it.
Bar
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Female suit: Wow, it smells really bad in here… like old period. Yeah! That’s it, old period.
Bridie O’Reillys
Melbourne
Australia
Hipster guy: Yeah, it probably didn’t help that I gave you poison ivy and then threw up on you.
Bar
Columbia, Missouri
Patron #1: Keith is really sorry to have acted like that.
Bartender: Does he even realize how drunk he was?
Patron #1: I’m just saying, that is not the Keith we know
Patron #2: [starts laughing].
Bartender: Well, he is a nice guy, he just gets too drunk.
Patron #1: I’m just letting you know, that according to all the cats he knows, you are the meow [makes a pawing gesture].
Bartender: Okay, how drunk are you?
Patron #2: He doesn’t even know who Keith is.
Patron #1: Where are we?
Bennigans
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Chris
