Australia

Literacy lecturer with thick Russian accent: When you have a guest, you say to them “feel yourself at home.”

Monash University
Australia

Girlfriend throwing arms around boyfriend: I hope someone who is really lonely is looking at us right now!

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: James

Blond girl: I thought jesus invented sex.

Bar
Perth
Australia

Overheard by: jimbo

Girl walking through park to friend: Oh my god, look! Those people are having sex on that bench over there! That's gross. (pause) Wait, that's my roommate! (yelling) Hi, Sarah!
(girl having sex on bench waves)

Australia

Father: I read a report where they have linked promiscuity to Alzheimer's.
20-something daughter: Don't be jealous, dad.

Sydney
Australia

Sex ed teacher: Now, before I start this class, all of you remember that my penis is bigger.

Australia

Overheard by: Not so sure…

Girl: Have you had glandular fever?
Guy: Yes, have you?
Girl: Yeah, the doctor gave me this cream to put on my mouth that was made from stuff that comes from uncircumcised dicks. I was like, “that doctor soooo didn't think I'd read the label.”

Melbourne
Australia

Guy on phone: I'm going to titty fuck her on the casket.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: kOLT

Mum: Do you want some McDonald's for lunch?
Seven-year-old girl: Ew, no, I'd rather die, I'll just have a latte, I think I'm getting a migraine.

Wahroonga Station
Sydney
Australia

Girl #1: So, how do orgies work? I don't really get it.
Girl #2: I dunno. I think if you see a hole, you just fill it with whatever you've got.
Girl #3: It's like Tetris!

Gold Coast
Australia