Professor: Facts are doo-doo.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: Biology Student
Professor: Facts are doo-doo.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: Biology Student
Drunk guy: Man, that girl was so hot, I’d eat her period!
Marina Del Rey, California
Overheard by: James Jameson
Girl reading TIME magazine: Do you think Michael Jackson looks kinda hot in this picture?
Friend: No, definitely not.
Girl, after a pause: Yeah, I don’t either.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: bradlea
Midget girl: So, I’m trying to talk to him, but he wouldn’t stop checking out my body, and I’m like, ‘Hello! My eyes are down here.’
San Francisco State University
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ottsel
Young black dude to white dude: … And don’t ever use Viagra unless you really need it. My balls were itching like crazy.
Modesto, California
Overheard by: Donster
Quartet member #1: … And now for some delicious candy from my stalker!
Quartet member #2: I love her! She’s so sweet!
Musicians’ lounge, Kohl Mansion
California
Man #1: Do you have scissors?
Man #2: I have sunshine… On a cloudy day.
Man #1: [Stunned.]
Restroom, Comic Con
San Diego, California
Old lady #1: There’s this neighborhood in Chicago that is absolutely infested with serial killers. Their solution to this was to build a Wal-Mart to bring rich, white people in.
Old lady #2: Did it help?
Old lady #1: No. One of the serial killer victims that was left for dead gave a description for a drawing, and nobody has seen him.
Old lady #2: Maybe he’s locked up during the day. Maybe he’s retarded and lives in a home and sneaks out only at night when no one will notice him.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Perplexed Cal student
Five-year-old boy holding red dress: Mommy! Mommy, look! I stealed this for you!
Macy’s
Stanford, California
Crew member: Sir, you can’t stand here.
Old man, blocking walkway: [Ignores him.]Crew member: Sir! This is a walkway.
Old man: This is foolishness!
Passerby: Why don’t you just die, already?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: uncomfortably waiting for the damn fireworks
