Guy #1: I think I fucked up my chance with Jen.
Guy #2: Why? what did you do?
Guy #1: Well she’s religious, and she sent me a text today that says, “I get real emotional on Good Friday.” so I write back, ‘I get real emotional on filet-o-fish Fridays.’ She hasn’t responded since.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: James Jameson
Blonde clone: It’s not that we’re both Leos. He’s just a dick.
Westfield Mall
San Diego, California
Girl: Look, you have to tell her.
Guy: I can’t tell her! I’ve kept this for so long!
Girl: If she really loves you that much she’ll understand.
Guy: How can I tell the girl that I love that I don’t like musicals?!
Bruin Walk, UCLA
California
Overheard by: if that’s the worst thing in your relationship…
Marine to friend: So, it’s like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.
CostCo
VictorVille, California
Woman: I had this brother who, like, wanted to be spy so he could speak like speak ten different languages and go on top secret missions and crap like that. Now he works in a tile factory.
Borders
Sunnyvale, California
Two-year-old, pointing at car: Mercedes!
Putt-Putt Mini Golf
Beverly Hills, California
Overheard by: McF
Well-dressed older lady: That’s definitely one of the better diphthongs.
Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Pilot to passengers: Welcome to Hawaii! I’m going to tell you all what my mom told me when I turned 18: get your bags and get out.
Direct flight from Seattle, Washington to Oakland, California
Chatty chick: … And he called me a drunk! I mean, I am a drunk, but I’m a functional drunk. I told him everyone loves drunks but nobody loves a crackhead… I don’t even care if I get a beer belly! Someone will still love me and rub my beer belly!
22 Fillmore bus
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Pilot to passengers: If you kids don’t calm down right now and stop throwing those damn pillows, I will turn this plane around and I will take you back to Mexico!
1999 flight from Cancun to San Francisco, California
Overheard by: the end of senior trip
