Chatty chick: … And he called me a drunk! I mean, I am a drunk, but I’m a functional drunk. I told him everyone loves drunks but nobody loves a crackhead… I don’t even care if I get a beer belly! Someone will still love me and rub my beer belly!
22 Fillmore bus
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Pilot to passengers: If you kids don’t calm down right now and stop throwing those damn pillows, I will turn this plane around and I will take you back to Mexico!
1999 flight from Cancun to San Francisco, California
Overheard by: the end of senior trip
Dude: I don’t like watching anything set from the olden days. You know, like Bridget Jones’ Diary… Or anything British.
Blockbuster
California
Overheard by: Define olden days
Professor, about PowerPoint: You guys don’t have this slide in your notes… Hahaha!
UC Davis Vet School
California
Guy shouting out dorm window: We’ve got dicks! Yeahhh! Woo-hoo!
University of California, Davis
California
Chick: So… You know when you were little and you used to leave beer and cookies for Santa?
Palo Alto High School
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: the governor
HS girl: He was killing us, but in a fun way.
Chino High School
Chino, California
Overheard by: yes
Clerk: Hitler was a black man. Did you know that?
Long’s Drugs
Oakland, California
Girl: Dude! Satan is in the store! He’s trying on lingerie.
Victoria’s Secret
Bakersfield, California
Little boy looking at zebra with erection: Mommy, five legs?
Mom: Yes, honey, five legs.
San Diego Zoo
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Kim and Amy
