Six‐year‐old girl: Dad, I want to see snow!
Six‐year‐old girl’s twin: Me toooo!
Dad: But girls, it doesn’t snow down here – you have to go up north for that.
Six‐year‐old girl: Then let’s go up north!
Six‐year‐old girl’s twin: To the North Pole!
Dad: Yeah! But you know what, mom won’t let us.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Little girl: Daddy! Daddy! Emma just kissed the shopping cart!
Father: She’ll kiss worse things in her life.

Yarmouth, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He’s non‐verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Older sister, standing on shopping cart: Where is Mommy?
Little brother, pushing cart: [Shrugs.]Older sister: You didn’t kill her, did you?!

Altoona, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: No, I Did

Little girl: He’s drunk, I swear!
Teenage sister: He’s not drunk, he’s a foreigner.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

Mom to three‐year‐old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three‐year‐old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three‐year‐old son, giggling: I am.
Three‐year‐old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.

Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant

Overheard by: Scott

9‑year‐old boy, biking: Yo, what kind of flowers are they?
13‐year‐old brother, also biking: They be poppies an’ calla‐lilies an’ peonies an’ oleanders an’ hydrangeas an’ shit.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Phanatic

20‐something #1: Your boyfriend is 61, right?
20‐something #2: My boyfriend is 60. Our father is 61.


Toddler to older sister: The pencil! Pencil! Look! (screaming) Looooook!
Teenage sister: That’s the Washington Monument.
Toddler: Noooooo! It’ll kill us! (sobbing uncontrollably) Kiiiillll! (continues sobbing)

National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Meaggoo

Little boy to younger brother: I’m ’bout to choke you!
Mother, to all children: I’m ’bout to choke all y’all!
Little boy: Together, mama?
Mother: Together.

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Jessica