Policeman, pulling over drunk guy on bike: License and registration, please.
Drunk guy: I'm on a bike!
Policeman: Sorry, force of habit.
Jefferson City, Missouri
Overheard by: BartMan
Hobo, surrounded by EMTs and police: Hocus pocus!
Officer: Sir, have you been drinking?
Hobo: Hocus pocus!
Officer: Have you had anything yummy, like beer?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: nathans
Security guy: You fell down the stairs.
Girl, trying to convince him that she's sober: Okay, have a gander at these heels.
Security guy: You were also making out with a man on the couch.
Girl: I'm promiscuous!? All your evidence is circumstantial! See, I'm using words like “promiscuous” and “circumstantial.” Have you ever met a drunk person who uses such vocabulary?
Security guy: You exhibit all the signs of intoxication, you are underage, we must ask you to leave.
Girl: For the last time, I'm not drunk! This is just my personality!
Beta Nightclub
Denver, Colorado
Security agent: What's in the box, sir?
Guy with cardboard box: Pot. (long pause, then slowly) A ceramic pot.
Durango Airport
Durango Colorado
Male state trooper to female state trooper: At that point they don't even qualify as carrots anymore. They're more like small creatures.
China Harbor
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: Kim
Cop (in creole): Move along.
Hobo: You don't know me!
Port Louis
Mauritius
Overheard by: Kallay
Dispatcher on police scanner: A subject was just robbed at gunpoint by a black male wearing no clothing.
Cop #1: Can we get a clothing description?
Cop #2, after silence: Just look for a naked man with a gun.
News Station
Jackson, Mississippi
