Professor: I guess one lesson we can take from this book is to never slap a Chinese warlord.

20th Century World Novel class, Mississippi State University

Overheard by: blondie

Girl #1: Is that hail?
Girl #2, looking out window: No, it’s just some guys stepping.
Girl #1: Oh. I was wondering why the hail had a beat.

Mississippi University for Women
Columbus, Mississippi

20-something girl: So I had to go to the emergency room because I thought I had a baby.
Shocked co-worker: What?! What was it?
20-something girl: Just my period. But it was a bad one.

Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: don't ditch health class

Sorostitute #1: Yeah, the handbook says I can either take two foreign language classes or two literature classes… So, like, I took the literature classes because, like, at least I can read that, y’know?
Sorostitute #2: So true…

Patterson School of Accountancy, University of Mississippi
University, Mississippi

Student to college secretary: Have any peppermints?
Receptionist: As in candy?
Student: Yeah. Peppermints.
Receptionist: Um, no?
Student: What kind of a dumb-ass school doesn't have peppermints?!?

University for Women

Overheard by: Megan S.

Coworker #1: So, did you ever figure out what was biting you?
Coworker #2: Yeah, the clinic said it was bedbugs. And I'm like, “Bedbugs?!” It's not like I have dead bodies layin' around, or anything.

Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: so, where are they?

Stoner guitarist: I got shot in the dick with an Airsoft. Seriously, check this shit out. (unzips his pants)
Guy: Just to let you know, before you do that, I am a homosexual.

Local Show
Gulfport, Mississippi

Black professor: Actually, it wasn't neither… Excuse me, I had an Ebonics moment. Please forgive me.

Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi

Guy, crying: Ahhh! I just had sex with Stephen Hawking right up here, in my head!

Biloxi, Mississippi

Law student: So, listen. He went to get a manicure the other day and I was like, you know, “how was it?” He was like, “oh, it was good and all, but she was rubbing my arm and I kinda started getting turned on.” And I was like, “what?” He said “yeah, and it was kinda weird because she was this 50-year-old Asian woman.”

Mississippi College School of Law