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(little boy and mother pass bake sale)
Little boy: I wanna cookie! I wanna cookie! Can we please get a cookie?
Mother: You don’t want those cookies.
Little boy: What’s wrong with them?
Mother: Those are Democrat cookies.

Bake Sale for Obama Campaign
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jamie

Skinny emo guy to emo girl: The only way I'm going to see him naked is if I picture it in my head. Oh, god damn it! I just saw it!

Missouri State University

Overheard by: Matt

Guy: Dude, do you remember when our driver's ed teacher taught us how to do donuts?

Pinkerton Academy
Derry, New Hampshire

Overheard by: kr142616

Curly-haired brunette: So how many sex partners did you say you'd had?
Straight-haired brunette: I think I said ten.
Curly-haired brunette: That's cool.
Straight-haired brunette: Ten in the past year, I mean. Obviously.
Curly-haired brunette, laughing: Obviously! I've seen you having sex with more people than that.

Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Poogs McNasty

Girl to friend: You know what I was thinking? We always say girls who get pregnant are white trash. But I really thought about this, and we have sex. We could get pregnant. You're not white trash!

College
New Jersey

Student, to professor: I was doing this piece where I–
Professor, interrupting: –Cookies?

Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Laura

Mother: What time do you need to get up tomorrow?
Teen daughter: 8.30.
Mother: Well, I'm going to be leaving a little before that.
Teen daughter, offhandedly: “Wake me up/before you go-go.”
Mother: I will kill you.

Aurora, Colorado

Girl sitting in front of lecture hall to professor, very matter-of-factly: People don't really use adverbs anymore.

Evans Hall, UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: the only one left

20-something girl: Fuck peter! I waxed my vag for you!

Toronto

Wine girl #1: We should go get tattoos!
Wine girl #2: We totally should, I'll be divorced by morning!

Open Mic Night
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: only if it's my name on her ass