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Customer: I ordered a gyro one day then I came back the next day and wanted a smaller one and was told I can only get one size.
Person at counter: Yes that's right, the gyro only comes in one size.
Customer: Well, that doesn't make sense. If I go to a pizza place, sometimes I want a large pizza, but not always. Sometimes I might want a small pizza. Ok? I just thought you should know. (customer leaves).
Counter person to another employee: I have no idea what he was trying to tell us.

Little Greek; Tampa, FL

Overheard by: ISPgypsy

Resident #1: I'm doing a colorectal rotation right now.
Resident #2: Yeah? How's that going?
Resident #1: Well you know, it's a lot of (lowers voice)… You know…
Resident #2: Buttholes?
Resident #1: Yeah.

Tulane Medical School elevator

Overheard by: Mark

Older white woman, excitedly: And he just bought the electronic device that's going to save their marriage!

Restaurant
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Both disgusted and yet intrigued

Dude #1: I heard they were trying to get The Beach Boys for that motorcycle rally.
Dude #2: Man, that really says a lot about who is riding motorcycles these days. And it’s not good.

Lone Star Floathouse & Grill
New Braunfels, Texas

Overheard by: D2

Theater professor: In Shakespeare's plays, SpongeBob would die.

Wayne State University
Detroit, Michigan

Girl #1: You can’t just not smell his pillow.
Girl #2: I know, right? Just smell as hard as you can!

Macalester College
St Paul, Minnesota

Overheard by: isa

Crackhead lady: I was raised on McDonald’s hamburgers until one day I puked up a fish!

McDonald’s
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Middle-aged man, nonchalantly: I bought the dogs a penis…

Aspen, Colorado

Mom: But then we'll have the baby.
Daughter: But I could play for the baby.
Mom: If you play for the baby, the baby will start crying.

Ferrell Middle School
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: ISPgypsy

Girl #1: You look like you had a wild weekend!
Girl #2: Yeah, I'm so sore I can barely walk…
Girl #1: So who all was there?
Girl #2: Oh, you know: Dillon, Chad, Mike, my dad, my mom…

University of Virginia