Dad’s the Best Gas-Release Coach in the Midwest

Little girl: I farted!
Dad, indifferent: Stop farting.
Little girl: I farted on the dog!
Dad, still indifferent: Continue farting.

Glendale Heights, Illinois

Overheard by: rbmmom

Posted on February 10, 2026
Animals, Compare and contrast, Dads, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Kids, Offers and requests, Pride, Sensory experiences

Expect Ingratitude. And Sass-Mouth

Mother, shouting at her child: You get mad at me for the things I don’t do, and you never appreciate the things I do do!
Little girl: Hahaha, you said doodoo!

Los Angeles, California

Posted on February 5, 2026
California, Compare and contrast, Girls, Gripes, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Should have used a condom, Words

Zeus Was Quite the Problem Child

Little boy #1: [Makes peeing sound, pretends to pee.]Little boy #2: That’s nothing! Feel the wrath of my penis!!

Macy’s in Fashion Square Mall
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Stephanie

Posted on February 3, 2026
Bragging, Compare and contrast, Florida, Friends, Guys, Kids, Malls, Pee, Penis, Sensory experiences, Should have used a condom

Do We Have to Drag Bernie Everywhere We Go?

Little boy: But I don’t care about the dead guys anymore!

Washington Monument
Washington, DC

Posted on January 31, 2026
Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Fears, Feelings, Guys, Kids, Tourist attractions, Washington, DC

Isn’t That the Title of an Inspirational Children’s Book?

Little boy to his mother: Why is everybody white and I’m brown?

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on January 22, 2026
Black people, Compare and contrast, Kids, Massachusetts, Questions, Race

Kid Must’ve Been Horrible to Get Taken to a Fabric Store

Six-year-old kid: Will you come over to our place?
Mom’s friend: No.
Six-year-old kid: Why not?
Mom’s friend: Because you’re annoying.
Mom: See? I told you!

Fabric Store
DeKalb, Illinois

Posted on January 21, 2026
Character, Etiquette, Family ties, Friends, Guys, Illinois, Insults, Kids, Moms, Questions, Should have used a condom, Stores

Must Be a Factory Nearby

Woman, after bring run by kid: Oh, a human male child just ran by me.

Arlington, Texas

Overheard by: Random Dude

Posted on January 19, 2026
Crazies, Kids, Texas, Weirdness, Women, Words

Mrs. Claus’s Given Name Was Derek

Little boy to big sister walking behind him: Do you believe in Santa?
Big sister: No! Keep walking.
[big sister shoves him].
Little brother: I heard Santa dislikes girls.

County Fair
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: jake

Posted on January 14, 2026
California, Girls, Kids, Questions, Santa Claus, Siblings, Tourist attractions

If You’re Really Bad, I’ll Make You Go in the Ball Pit

Angry father, to young daughter: Do you wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese?
Daughter: [scared silence]Father: Then stop touching shit!

Wal-Mart
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Molly BOOM

Posted on January 9, 2026
Dads, Default, Etiquette, Family, Food, Girls, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Shopping, Stores, Wishes

And No Finger-Cymbals for You Tonight.

Screaming seven-year-old on the ground: But I want to sing! I want to sing now!
Patient but angry mom: Well, you should have thought about that before. It’s too late. Now get your kazoo and get in the car.

Easley High
Easley, South Carolina

Posted on January 2, 2026
Default, Gripes, Guys, Kids, Moms, Singing, South Dakota, Wishes

Kids