Little girl in stall: No boys allowed in here!
Little boy in the next stall: Well, my name’s Simon!

Girls’ Bathroom, Clemyjontri Park
McLean, Virginia

Overheard by: Ellen

We Thought Only Americans Knew This Little About Sex Ed.

[Line for ladies’ room]Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It’s urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh…[Suppresses laugh.] 

Western Australia

Drunk girl #1, in bathroom: So I told her she just needed to remove her vagina, put on a cock and man up!
Drunk girl #2: Totally.

Bathroom, Rocket Bar
Washington, DC

Puzzled teen: I swear I’ve never seen so much math on a napkin before.

Women’s Bathroom, Wynkoop Brewery
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Bathroom Goer

Little girl in next stall: But what if Old Faithful starts going while we’re not out there?
Girl’s mother: Well, you’ll have to pee really quickly so mommy can pee and then we can go.
Little girl: But you take a long time to pee.
Mother: Yes, I know.
Little girl: You take a long time to pee.
Mother: Well, thank you for announcing that to the entire bathroom.

Restroom, Old Faithful Inn
Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming

(two guys peeing next to each other at the urinals)
Pretty boy #1: I think I have sensitive wrists.
Pretty boy #2: You have sensitive nipples!

Bowling Alley Bathroom
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Liz

Small child entering restroom: Mom, why can’t we go to the boys’ room? Because I’ve got a girl with me?
Mom: You are a girl!

Sushi Restaurant
Kansas City, Kansas

Overheard by: zombie z

Toddler boy in stall with mom: I’m done!
Mom: Are you sure? Why are you doing that? Don’t pull on it!
Toddler boy: Daddy does it all the time!

Border Grill
Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Smooph

Guy to another: Don’t shake my hand, dude, it’s still got pussy on it!

Men’s Bathroom
Bar, Alabama

Overheard by: So glad I don’t live here anymore

Five‐year‐old boy, calling to mother in bathroom stall: Mom, we need to talk about something.
Mom: Can it wait?
Five‐year‐old boy: No.
Mom: What is it?
Five‐year‐old boy: I need more credit. You don’t give me enough credit for the things I do, and my feathers are simply getting ruffled by this.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Laughing