Party girl: It's a pow-wow!
Party guy: Dude, everyone knows it's not a pow-wow without a fire.
Party girl: I have a sombrero.
Party guy: No, no, that's a fiesta!
Salisbury, Maryland
Party girl: It's a pow-wow!
Party guy: Dude, everyone knows it's not a pow-wow without a fire.
Party girl: I have a sombrero.
Party guy: No, no, that's a fiesta!
Salisbury, Maryland
Five-year-old in cafeteria during kindergarten lunchtime: Mr. Greg, my mom didn't put juice in my lunch. Can I get a drink from the cafeteria?
Mr. Greg: Sure, I'll get you something. You want milk?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Regular white milk or chocolate?
Five-year-old: Chocolate.
Mr. Greg: Okay. You're not allergic to chocolate, are you?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: You are? Oh, then I'll get you white milk. Are you allergic to white milk?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Oh, then I'd better see if they have juice.
(Mr. Greg goes into the kitchen and comes back with orange juice)
Mr. Greg: Here's some orange juice. You're not allergic to orange juice, are you?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Do you know what “allergic” means?
Five-year-old: No.
Elementary School
Los Angeles, California
Guy talking about Belgium: They probably would not speak weasel with their Flemish brothers.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: i think i missed something
Non-native presenting for speech class: Everyone has cows in their life. Cows at home. Cows at work. Cows in our families. Cows can take over everything. But how do we get rid of the cows?
Teacher: Chaos. It’s pronounced ‘chaos.’
Truman College
Chicago, Illinois
Crazy, overweight French prof: Ma boîte est dans un endroit très triste.
Student: Your box is in a sad place?
Crazy, overweight french prof: Oui, but which box?
Student: (giggles)
Crazy, overweight French prof: Box is another word for office!
Simon Fraser University
Canadia
Overheard by: so that's what they're calling it these days
Little girl: Can I have the nose now?
Guy: Yeah, sure, it probably has everyone's snot on it now, though.
Older girl: Ew! Oh my gosh, mental image!
Guy: What do you want me to say? I'm speaking their language.
Older girl: Say “nose… products.” It has “nose products.”
Guy, laughing hysterically: Nose products?
Older girl: Yes, nose products.
Little girl, holding out fake vampire teeth: Here, take my mouth products.
Kids' Playground
Manhattan, New York
Boyfriend: Hun.
Girlfriend, just waking up: Mmm?
Boyfriend, hugging her: Mine.
Girlfriend: Mmm-hmm.
Boyfriend: Am I gonna have to become an organist to understand you?
Girlfriend: Hmmm?
Boyfriend: You know, so I can understand your pitches and stuff.
Girlfriend, lower pitched: Mmmm.
Boyfriend: See? Like that!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Foreign chick on cell: I'm at the gonorrhea. (pause) No, I'm at the gonorrhea. Yah… In yewstun. I'm at deelurds in the gonorrhea.
Dillards, The Galleria
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: OMG She had VD
Guy: Yeah, this woman over at the Sun-Times building used to make this focaccia bread for us, it was great. But she was Italian-American though, she didn't know, she didn't even know what a cannoli was!
Friend: What!?
Guy: Yeah! And, like, zeppoli, she didn't know what a zeppoli was either! And those are like the two big things, y'know?
Friend: Oh, man!
Guy: That's what happens! That's what happens when you mix up the blood!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: SOB: Stale Off the Boat
Five-year-old boys, in unison, about female lion strutting around: The mamacita is awake! The mamacita is awake!
Harried mother: I said let's not say that word… Let's say “elfman” is awake!”
San Diego Zoo
California
