Overly friendly man on bus: It's like, for example, do you know how many seasons there are in a year?
Woman: Tweleve.
Overly friendly man: Well, actually there are four seasons, four seasons in a year, I guess…
Woman: Well, I'm not from here, I'm from Montana.

Seattle, Washington

Girl on bus: I've been trying to quit drinking and she was all like, “have some juice with me!” And then she pulls out a half gallon of vodka, and I'm all, “bitch, what you doing?”

Seattle, Washington

Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That's disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?

Bus Stop
San Diego, California

Teenage ghetto boy: That'd be great, man, if everyone died … They'd be gone, and we could take all their cars!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Genius #1, about Neil Armstrong: Wait, didn’t he win the Tour de– Oh, no, that was Lance Armstrong.
Genius #2: Wait, there are two of them? I thought the astronaut guy turned into the bike guy!

Rutgers bus
New Jersey

Girl on phone: I mean, do you know how strange it feels to climb out of the bed of the guy you just hooked up with and then climb into bed with your brother?

Chinatown bus from New York City to Baltimore, Maryland

Girl #1: What are those dots underneath the sign?
Girl #2: You're so dumb, haven't you heard of language for the deaf?

Bus Station

Overheard by: Håkon

Woman on cell: She'd look sharp if she had some teeth. She's just got to go get those teeth, though!

33 Bus
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alyson

Creepy guy with shriveled arm: Nah, I haven't used in a couple months. But if I wanted to start again, I got a savings account now.

5 Bus
San Diego, California

Overheard by: mhd

Man on cell in very quiet bus: Look. I took the pills, I put the powder in my pants, I don't have cooties anymore!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Kat from Tacoma