Drunk girl in bar: Dammit, bitch! Talk legible!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: James
Drunk girl in bar: Dammit, bitch! Talk legible!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: James
Girl: I'm hanging out with Claire today, that's why I can't stay later.
Guy: Is Claire the one with the awesome accent?
Girl: She has a speech impediment.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Leonard
Frat boy: That's all I want, a girl from, like, some poor village in southern Italy, doesn't speak a fuckin' *word* of English, and I can bring her home, and she can lie in my bed all day, and fuck me, and make me gnocci.
Plain blonde girl: Do you really like gnocci?
Yale Berkeley College Dining Hall
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Girl #1: It so sad that racism is still a problem in Canada.
Girl #2: I know what you mean, the other day my mother-in-law went to a variety store, and she, like, couldn't get served in English.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Sad York Student
Teen: I couldn't tell if he meant “stop, exclamation point,” “don't, exclamation point,” or if he meant “don't stop, exclamation point.”
Friend: What did you do?
Teen: Look, that handjob wasn't going to finish itself, and I have a reputation, so I had no choice.
Friend: You're a goddamn trooper.
Syracuse Mall
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Just Exclaming!
Female heard through the wall, after giving blow job: That's all you have to say? “Thanks?”
Male, through wall: Moshi-moshi.
Female, exasperated: See, that's your problem! Half the time you don't even speak English anymore!
Male: That was “thank you” in Japanese.
Female: Oh.
Norman, Oklahoma
Girl #1: Why is it that so many midgets end up getting into acting? There must be a shortage of midget actors…
Girl #2: Shortage?
Sault Ste Marie
Ontario
Canadia
Man: There are mutes dying all over the world, and they can't say anything! So here I am…
Providence, Rhode Island
30-something guy: I can't speak English, but my prose is fuckin' smooth.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: hb
Teenage girl: Mom, you have to buy me this book!
Mom: No, I don't, and I shan't.
Teenage girl: You what?
Mom: I shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Yes. Shan't.
Teenage girl: That's a word?
Mom: Yes.
Teenage girl: What's it mean?
Mom: It's a contraction of “shall not”, as in “I shan't buy you that book.”
Teenage girl: Ugh, fine! Enough shan'ting already!
Borders Bookstore
Olathe, Kansas
