Construction worker #1: There's a lot of sick bastards out there.
Construction worker #2: Not like when we were growing up.
Construction worker #3: That's because the country's got 300 million people now. When we was growing up it only had 150 million. That's why you got three times the number of crazies now.
Oceanside, New York
Spray-haired Long Island housewife #1: Beige is my favorite shade…
Spray-haired Long Island housewife #2, interrupting: Oh my gawd, the neutrals! I love the neutrals!
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy on phone: That sounds awesome. (pause) Did he kill the bear? (pause) Wellllll, fuck him!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Coral
Girlfriend to boyfriend who is trying hard not to look at a hot girl dancing sexily: Don't worry baby, I'm getting the erection for you.
Manhattan, New York
Coed to another: It's someone picking their nose… but in the thumbnail it looked like a penis
SUNY
New Paltz, New York
Mother to eldest daughter: You can come have sushi with us for lunch on Sunday, but only if you go to mass with us too.
Eldest daughter: I don't think Jesus would approve.
Mother: It's fine. Jesus loved sushi.
Yorktown Heights, New York
Overheard by: Monty
Girl hottie: Do they give out medals for chronic female masturbators? Because if so… (points to self with thumbs) Super star. I'm talking gold medal, national treasure.
Guy hottie: You're not deterring me! We're getting turkey bacon!
Wegmans
New York
Overheard by: Bronze Medalist
Elderly lady to another: I wonder what God's doing right now. Probably drunk, celebrating his 400th birthday.
Washingtonville, New York
Overheard by: Trisha
Little girl: Can I have the nose now?
Guy: Yeah, sure, it probably has everyone's snot on it now, though.
Older girl: Ew! Oh my gosh, mental image!
Guy: What do you want me to say? I'm speaking their language.
Older girl: Say “nose… products.” It has “nose products.”
Guy, laughing hysterically: Nose products?
Older girl: Yes, nose products.
Little girl, holding out fake vampire teeth: Here, take my mouth products.
Kids' Playground
Manhattan, New York
Pretty hipster in lab: It's cold in here and it's also not hot outside.
Pretty nerd in lab: Shouldn't the thrill of science keep you warm?
Pretty hipster in lab: That's such a stupid thing to say…
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Warm for Science
