Office politics

Goth girl: So by working to benefit communism, they started to think that communism wasn't actually so bad!
Creepy guy: You know, some people say that young people aren't deep. You've proved them wrong. (leaves)
Fat friend: Good thing he didn't hear us talking about how Sims should be able to sell drugs.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Female suit to another: So…how do we do things that make it look like we're doing things?

Overheard by: corporate America, we have a problem

Flamboyantly gay man on cell, sashaying student union: Apparently there was like a three-day no shower policy to attend this Earth Day function! Whatever, I didn't get the memo.

Greensboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: Caroline

Guy with clipboard: Do you have a minute for human rights?
Guy walking by: No. (pause) Wait, did you say humans rights?
Guy with clipboard: Yes.
Guy walking by: Oh, I thought you were one of those crazy environmentalist people.
Guy with clipboard: No, we're crazy gay rights people.

University of Colorado, Boulder

Overheard by: Violentvixen

Nurse: I didn’t even bother checking the urgency, but I guess if there are stab marks it’s urgent.

Overheard by: funvill

Client to design agency, regarding their website: For simplicity’s sake, we ripped off a few things.

Woman over intercom: Attention, there is an emergency in the ladies' room. There are no more paper towels.
(customers in super long line snicker)
Man on intercom (a minute or two later): Attention Mr. Dewey, we have an emergency in the office. Nobody can understand your decimal system.

Trader Joe's
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Hungry

Young fashionista #1: How do you stay so positive?
Young fashionista #2: Oh, you know, I just don’t let the bad stuff in.
Young fashionista #1: What about Pedro?

São Paulo

Overheard by: paparazzi