Paranoid blonde: He’s just so quiet and creepy. I really feel like he could kill someone!
Annoyed brunette: Because he’s quiet and creepy?
Paranoid blonde: Well, he, like, steals forks from the dining hall and stuff!
University of Maryland, College Park
Maryland
Dining hall employee: We started doing tofu because a lot of people don’t eat meat anymore.
Chick: I love meat.
Russell Sage College
Troy, New York
Girl #1: Ew, this sushi is like jizz! Here, eat some so I’m not the only one.
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Come on, put it in your mouth. Just taste it. Just a little bit. I don’t want to be the only one!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/05/01/you-dont-even-want-to-try-the-terriyaki/
Overheard by:
Planned parenthood speaker: Who wants some condoms?
Class, in unison: Your mom.
High school assembly
Englewood, Colorado
Professor: I found the same paper that you turned in as your term paper on the Internet, word for word. That’s plagiarizing!
Student: All right, I’ll tell you the truth — I didn’t have time to write the term paper, so I paid somebody else to do it for me. But honest, I didn’t know he’d plagiarize it!
College
New York
Overheard by: DizzyLizzy
Professor: So, do you guys think fornication is man’s greatest pleasure?
First year Humanities class: [Embarrassed silence.]Brave student: Um… I don’t know about greatest… I mean, I like to eat.
Professor, slamming hands down on desk: I’ve been eating for 62 years, and I’ve never gotten an orgasm from it!
Richmond, Indiana
20-ish guy: If I have a little girl, I want her to either have the highest moral standards or be ugly as shit.
McCool Hall, Mississippi State University
Mississippi
Drunk girl: I’m filled with the Holy Spirit… and booze!
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Student: I’m so angry about having to pay for social security and all that crap when I’m never going to see it myself. Heck, my parents won’t even see it! They can’t retire until they’re like eighty. This country sucks! I’m moving to Iran.
Art studio, East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
