Students

Or Don't Be the Idiot Who Schedules Things Before Noon

Professor, at 8 am: If coffee doesn't work, drink RedBull. But if that doesn't work, I suggest amphetamines or heroin.

Class, SUNY
Purchase, New York

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on August 4, 2009
Advice, Class, Drugs, Education, Food, New York, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Verne Troyer Has Forever Ruined That Role

Teacher: Oh my god, I love you, Erica! You're like a little me!
Student: Ew!

Middle School
Virginia

Overheard by: Eh, there are worse things

Posted on July 30, 2009
Bringing it back to you, Education, Feelings, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Virginia, Weirdness

A Problem I Can Solve Simply by Getting a Drunker ID

Drunk college dude, explaining how he got kicked out of a club: They looked at my ID, then they looked at my face. My face was not as sober as my ID.

Metro, Orange Line
Washington, DC

Overheard by: funniest Metro ride ever

Posted on July 29, 2009
Body parts, Compare and contrast, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Students, Train, Washington, DC

They Have No Idea What's Going on

Economics graduate to friend, looking around sadly at subdued crowd: We should go to the poli sci graduation later. I heard it's riotous.

UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Another Economics Graduate

Posted on July 29, 2009
California, Colleges & Universities, Education, Friends, Offers and requests, Science, Students, Words

I Probably Need to Get Out Of Culinary Arts

College girl in workout gear: No, I don't really like to eat. I mean, I don't really like food. I just have to eat it, you know?
College friend: Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I think, you know I could just live off of Gatorade or orange juice or something. You get the same nutrients and stuff from that anyway.
College girl in workout gear: Yeeeeah. Exactly.

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 21, 2009
Anorexics, Bus, Diet & weight, Food, Friends, Students, Stupidity, Washington

Religious Freedom's Expensive

Teacher: Why did the Pilgrims come to America?
Student: Because they wanted to dig for gold!
(later)
Teacher: Why did the Puritans come to America?
Student: Oh! I know this one! They're the ones that wanted to dig for gold!

East Greenbush, New York

Posted on July 18, 2009
Education, History, New York, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Wishes

That They Transport Illegally in Their Quilts?

Student: So wait, the Amish have, like, all natural steroids?

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: J.

Posted on July 17, 2009
Arizona, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Religion, Students

Woody Allen Was a Tedious Child

Teacher to four-year-old boy: How do you like your teacher?
Four-year-old boy, frustrated: I don't. She's always yelling at me.
Teacher: Well, it will be okay. At least you'll be going home soon.
Four-year-old boy, throwing hands in the air: No, it won't! It's never going to end!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on July 12, 2009
Education, Indiana, Kids, Students, Teachers

Fine– Pop Quiz, Bitches!

German instructor: Today is a bad day to ask me questions.
Several students at once: What's the meaning of life?

Montevallo, Alabama

Posted on July 2, 2009
Alabama, Education, Philosophy, Questions, Students, Teachers

…It's Deep

Women studies professor, waving arms: We all have the same vaginas!
Student: I love this class.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Tri

Posted on July 2, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Students, Teachers, Vagina, Washington