Conductor: Welcome aboard to all the new passengers. The time is 9:11. Actually… Let’s make that 9:12. That’s better, isn’t it?
Washington, DC
Conductor: Welcome aboard to all the new passengers. The time is 9:11. Actually… Let’s make that 9:12. That’s better, isn’t it?
Washington, DC
Dude: It’s weird… All of the girls I dated turned slutty after I dated them. It’s totally unfair.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/03/we-feel-your-pain-and-have-felt-up.html
High school boy #1: Know what I’m gonna do?
High school boy #2: You’re gonna jizz in my mouth.
High school boy #1: I’m gonna go to a third world country, buy four people, put them in an arena, and make them play Super Smash Brothers in real life. For Pikachu I’m gonna put thousand-volt batteries in his cheeks.
Ride-On bus
Washington, DC
Overheard by: bus rider
Chick: I haven’t even showered today.
Dude: If we’re going to have a quickie you need to take a shower first.
Chick: I could just douche first.
Dude: I don’t want my dick to smell like a tree. I want it to smell like a panther.
American University
Washington, DC
Man to buddy: She’s the one who introduced me to the lesbian that beat me up after sex.
Adams Morgan, DC
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/02/sounds-like-my-kind-of-lesbian.html
Girl: That’s totally the last time I’m getting pregnant. It takes all the fun out of drinking!
RFK Stadium Metro Station
Washington, DC
Man on cell: Hang on, I’m coming with half of my pants!
Metro
Washington, DC
Blonde: So, what’s this play about?
Brunnette: It’s the adult version of Peter Pan.
Blonde: You mean, like, porn?
Brunette: Uhhh, not exactly.
Showing of Peter and Wendy, Kreeger Theater
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Julius
Girl: I got into the international university in Bremen, but they didn’t give me any scholarship money because I’m not Ethiopian and I eat dinner every night.
Washington, DC
College guy: Ugh. Now I know what a beached whale feels like when it gets a phone call.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bahama Mama
