Chick: No, if I take a shit I get the dish soap.
Guy: [nods understandingly].
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Chick: No, if I take a shit I get the dish soap.
Guy: [nods understandingly].
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Umpire to catcher and kicker during kickball game: Now, legally you’re allowed to pants each other.
National Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Satsuki
Professor: Like, for example, my wife loves Everybody Loves Raymond. I think it's…well, I think it's the death of all art.
Catholic University of America
Washington, DC
Conductor: Welcome aboard to all the new passengers. The time is 9:11. Actually… Let’s make that 9:12. That’s better, isn’t it?
Washington, DC
Dude: It’s weird… All of the girls I dated turned slutty after I dated them. It’s totally unfair.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/03/we-feel-your-pain-and-have-felt-up.html
High school boy #1: Know what I’m gonna do?
High school boy #2: You’re gonna jizz in my mouth.
High school boy #1: I’m gonna go to a third world country, buy four people, put them in an arena, and make them play Super Smash Brothers in real life. For Pikachu I’m gonna put thousand-volt batteries in his cheeks.
Ride-On bus
Washington, DC
Overheard by: bus rider
Chick: I haven’t even showered today.
Dude: If we’re going to have a quickie you need to take a shower first.
Chick: I could just douche first.
Dude: I don’t want my dick to smell like a tree. I want it to smell like a panther.
American University
Washington, DC
Man to buddy: She’s the one who introduced me to the lesbian that beat me up after sex.
Adams Morgan, DC
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/02/sounds-like-my-kind-of-lesbian.html
Girl: That’s totally the last time I’m getting pregnant. It takes all the fun out of drinking!
RFK Stadium Metro Station
Washington, DC
Man on cell: Hang on, I’m coming with half of my pants!
Metro
Washington, DC
