Washington, DC

Loud man in fatigues: Wow! Y’all look like Charlie’s Angels. I didn’t realize how beautiful you are.
Girl #1: Oh, thanks.
Loud man in fatigues: Wow! You have beautiful feet! Can I suck a toe-jam?
Girl #1: Ummm, no, thank you.
Girl #2, whispering: What’s a toe-jam? Is it something really gross and inappropriate?

Washington, DC

Chipper girl: I tell the sex workers that they can wear the female condom before going out. You can wear it for, like, three hours. They are kind of loud, though — they crinkle! Sex is awkward, anyway.

Women’s health class, American University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: aimc

Girl #1: We are so fly, we should kill ourselves.
Guy: Oh, yeah.
Girl #2 nods.


Overheard by: autumn

18-year-old girl to 20-year-old girl: The Declaration of Independence looks really old and faded. How old is it?

National Archives
Washington, DC

Frat boy to another: Dude, why do we always act like such assholes?

National Zoo
Washington, DC

Overheard by: keeeeem

American woman on cell: So when you go to Moscow, can you bring me back some toothpaste? Yeah, just Crest. Thanks.

13th St
Washington, DC

Child running up escalator: I’m winning again!
Mom, huffing and puffing on other escalator: Yeah, well, I’m having a stroke, so…

Cleveland Park Metro station
Washington, DC

Tourist girl on cell: I found the house I want to live in when I move to DC, but then I found out it was the Smithsonian…

Washington, DC

Girl: Why do they have an ambassador to Vatican City?
Guy: Because it’s a country and stuff.
Girl: Do, like, normal people live there?
Guy: I don’t know…
Girl, thoughtfully: It’s a scary place…


Overheard by:

Young woman on cell: Did you just say “The cables must be subjugated”? Uh huh… Okay… Yeah, I don’t think you’re okay to drive either.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Nic