Wishes

Drunk man: I just really want a fucking vagina!
Drunk woman: Like sparkly pink neon!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/437402503/what-the-world-would-look-like-without-encyclopedias.html

Overheard by: I'm sure you do

Little girl: Mommy, can we have the monster beans? Mommy, look, they have monster beans, can we get the monster beans?
Mommy: Honey, I think that is the green giant.
Little girl: …or monster beans!

Dollar Tree
Nicholasville, Kentucky

Girl, pulling bills from strapless dress: Yeah! They's my stripper dollars.
Boy: Man! Sure wish I had titties!

Portland, Oregon

Slightly austistic girl to slightly austistic boyfriend: I just don't want our relationship to be dysfunctional…
Slightly austistic boyfriend: No! No! It won't…

School Bus

40-something woman on cell: I am going to live to be one hundred, just to be a bitch.

Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: Jpov

Four-year-old: I wanna go in there!
Mother: The small mammal house?
Four-year-old, screaming: Small mammals!
Mother: Do you even know what small mammals are?
Four-year-old now, quiet and embarrassed: No.

The National Zoo
Washington, DC

Girlfriend: That's your last drink tonight.
Boyfriend: What? Why?
Girlfriend: Why? Because I don't want to fuck a limp dick and then deal with you shitting yourself again. That's why.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Deedle

Man: What do you want for Christmas?
Chubby boy: Meatloaf.

Brownstone Diner
Jersey City, New Jersey

Sixteen-year-old blonde goth: I think I want to be a lesbian.
Teenage friend: I thought you were one.

Salem, Oregon

Overheard by: Geneva

Sentimental girl, about her grandmother: She went all loopy last time!
Comforting friend: No, I am sure she'll be alright.
Sentimental girl: Last time she thought she lived with David Beckham!

East London
England

Overheard by: Luna