Four-year-old: I wanna go in there!
Mother: The small mammal house?
Four-year-old, screaming: Small mammals!
Mother: Do you even know what small mammals are?
Four-year-old now, quiet and embarrassed: No.
The National Zoo
Washington, DC
Four-year-old: I wanna go in there!
Mother: The small mammal house?
Four-year-old, screaming: Small mammals!
Mother: Do you even know what small mammals are?
Four-year-old now, quiet and embarrassed: No.
The National Zoo
Washington, DC
Girlfriend: That's your last drink tonight.
Boyfriend: What? Why?
Girlfriend: Why? Because I don't want to fuck a limp dick and then deal with you shitting yourself again. That's why.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Deedle
Man: What do you want for Christmas?
Chubby boy: Meatloaf.
Brownstone Diner
Jersey City, New Jersey
Sixteen-year-old blonde goth: I think I want to be a lesbian.
Teenage friend: I thought you were one.
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: Geneva
Sentimental girl, about her grandmother: She went all loopy last time!
Comforting friend: No, I am sure she'll be alright.
Sentimental girl: Last time she thought she lived with David Beckham!
East London
England
Overheard by: Luna
Preppy girl on cell: You know, why don't you talk more? Why don't you participate? I just wish you would say something not stupid.
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: timmmm
Man on cell, laughing: You don't need a chair! Your ass is so big you can sit on the ground! (pause, then enamored) Aw, I love that laugh. You know I wanna marry that laugh. (defensive) Why do you do that? You always do that when I try to share my feelings with you!
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: facepalm
Obese teenager to mom: I wish I had an ice cream maker built into my steering wheel.
Mother: Stop.
Mobile, Alabama
Guy to crowd of housemates: See, this is the kind of toilet we want–it's rated to be able to flush one kilo of material at a time.
Girl: How many kilos does a newborn weigh?
Home Depot
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Alchemist George
Five-year-old boy to mom: Does it feel weird to have a vagina?
Mom: Well, I've had one my whole life, so it feels normal to me.
Five-year-old boy: I wish I knew what it felt like to have one!
Mom: I'm pretty sure you'll be a member of the LGBT community anyway, so maybe you'll find out.
Five-year-old boy: What's LGBT?
Mom: You'll find out soon enough, honey.
Five-year-old boy: That sounds really cool!
Roseville, California
Overheard by: Nature vs Nurture
